


We're Crashing Like The Shore Pulled Us In

by RaviJane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Harry is a wannabe hipster who takes too many photos, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Road Trips, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, and Louis just really likes dinosaurs and tea, but it matters for the plot, it's actually funny at times, it's not as heavy as it sounds, it's not the centre of the story though, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:03:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5032999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaviJane/pseuds/RaviJane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the plans fate holds include getting lost in the middle of Yorkshire or breaking his mum's number one rule.</p>
<p>or, the one where Harry meets Louis, who smokes too many cigarettes and discovers what love can actually do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Crashing Like The Shore Pulled Us In

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaahhh!!
> 
> It's finally here!!! I am beyond excited to finally post this, as it took literal ages to write. All the research has finally paid off and I'm actually quite proud of this.
> 
> There are a few people I'd like to thank...
> 
> First off, Mugu (AudreyRoscoe) who has always been the first to read each part and reviewed them thoroughly, helping me to find an end to this monster. You deserve an award.
> 
> Bernice (elounono)!!!!!! Without Bernice, who managed to beta this even though she had a new part of life starting. You are so so so kind and I'm still sorry for annoying the hell out of you ;p
> 
> Hannah (hungerlarry on the tumblr), who described all the cities I've never been to so that I could match the flair. You're one of my favourites, you go girl.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I've never been to Yorkshire in my whole life, so if there are any inaccuracies, let me know! Also, all the places mentioned except the first club in Hornsea are real. Google them, it's worth it (and let me know if you visit them!!!). I don't own anyone in this story, but the plot is aaaall mine. Ha. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story and I'd love to hear your feedback!

**We’re crashing like the shore pulled us in**

 

 

**Hornsea**

 

This wasn't where he wanted to be.

 

Harry was still a bit sleepy, but the adrenaline shooting through his veins was violently shaking him awake. The bus had completely come to a halt and he had no idea where on earth he had landed. Well, he knew that he was most likely still in England, but he was nowhere near Leeds by any means.

 

The bus driver had kicked him out and drove away, leaving him by himself. _Hornsea, South Promenade_ was what he'd read on the bus' sign, but who the hell knew where that was? He pulled out his phone only to realise the battery had died. Harry cursed; even though he did like nature and travelling, he was not particularly fond of getting lost somewhere with no phone and no place to stay the night. With a sigh, he decided to take a walk along the promenade, watching the waves of the North Sea crash into the shore from a safe distance and maybe look for a cheap hotel – he was an adult and this really wasn't the end of the world. So he chose the next best phone booth and dialled the number of the hotel he'd originally planned to stay at and cancelled his room, still unable to quite grasp what had happened.

 

Even though it was a Wednesday night and dark already, the sight the promenade offered was honestly terrific. There were a restaurant, and a hall for dancing/partying purposes directly on the beach, placed on pillars to stay above the dangerous area of where the flood could crash in. The hall was playing loud classic rock music, people were even dancing outside, even if it was already September. The restaurant appeared to be a little more exquisite and quiet, nevertheless Harry spotted couples sitting on some tables in the outdoor area.

 

The lights were reflecting on the sea's surface, colours breaking. Harry took some pictures of the coastline with the camera dangling around his neck, before he continued walking alongside the shore on a road placed higher than the buildings of the promenade, so that he could easily have a good look at it all. The road ended where a bridge started, crossing a canal which seemed to lead to a lake or something.

 

Somebody was leaning against the fence enclosing the bridge, seemingly looking down into the water. It was a boy, Harry observed upon coming closer, probably about his age. He was wearing oversized clothes, as in a pair of sweatpants and a jumper, the hood pulled over his head. Something seemed to be off about the scene, he was leaning over a little too far and he was on his own, out this late mid-week.

 

“Hey there”, he said, wondering whether the boy might have some information for him, maybe where he could stay for a night or tell him _where the hell Hornsea even was_.

 

The boy flinched, then turned and faced him with a confused expression. He was pretty, Harry thought, with his sharp cheekbones, the light brown fringe and blue eyes, his thin lips wearing a smile.

 

“Hi, how can I help you?”. His voice was higher than expected, but pleasant – he sounded friendly, which was important as Harry really couldn't use anything exhausting right now.

 

“Well, I'm lost”, he stated, “I fell asleep on my bus and it ended in this place and I have no idea where I am to be fair, neither where to stay the night”. The stranger laughed quietly, his eyes crinkling.

 

“Calm down, curly, you'll be alright! First off, you're in Hornsea, East Riding of Yorkshire, pretty far east obviously, and if you walk down this road, there'll be a youth hostel on the right, they're open 24 hours”.

 

“Thank God”, Harry exclaimed, relieved that he wouldn't have to sleep on a stray bench, but then it hit him. “East Yorkshire?! I was supposed to get out in Leeds! How long did I sleep?”.

 

The other boy, who was a lot shorter than Harry, making him look tiny and very cute in his huge clothes (Harry wasn't checking him out by any means. Nuh-uh), chuckled again, then made a pondering face. “Well, Leeds is like one and a half hours from here, so you probably fell asleep right before you had to get off the bus, unless you slept like three hours”.

 

“Oh, wow”. Harry shook his head, still in shock, then picked up the conversation again. “Where are you staying? Or, duh, you probably live here”.

 

“I don't”, he replied, his eyes cast downwards again, “I'm from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, but I'm just, well, I'm staying at the hostel I just mentioned. I'm Louis by the way”. They shook hands and Harry introduced himself. He wanted to ask why Louis was here on his own, but the shorter boy suggested heading over there, thus Harry followed. He was exhausted after all, and he could probably still ask questions tomorrow, after he'd figured out how to get to Leeds.

 

“Um, would it be too much to ask you whether I'll see you again tomorrow?”, Harry asked after having received the keys for his room. He tried to hide the flush of his cheeks to no avail, but at least Louis smiled, his eyes crinkling in the outer corners.

 

“Sure, why not. I have no place to go and you don't seem to, either, so we might as well hang out. What about ten o'clock at the breakfast table?”. The taller boy nodded, said goodnight and went inside his room, still a little overwhelmed by everything that had happened so far. Needless to say, he collapsed into his bed and fell asleep immediately.

 

The next morning, Harry awoke around 9.30 a.m., which left him enough time to take a shower and get dressed. His stomach was growling, the last time he'd eaten was ages ago. He arrived in the breakfast room a little too early, choosing a table with two chairs near the windows. His watch said it was three minutes to ten, so he waited a while. Once he'd been sure Louis had forgotten about him, said boy entered the room, wearing skin-tight black skinny jeans and a loose, grey jumper. His hair appeared to be damp, and some stubble had grown along his jaw and sharp cheekbones. Harry noticed how thin his legs were, the huge top making the difference even worse. “Good morning”, Louis said, getting himself a cup of tea and taking the seat across from Harry.

 

“Hey there”, He gave him a smile, then got up to finally fill his stomach; his plate quickly filled with toast, scrambled eggs, jam and some bacon, making it a little hard to balance the tea in his other hand. Luckily Louis took the mug from him before any Harrys or floors could be harmed, their fingers brushing for the instant of a second. The touch left a sparkling sensation in his fingers, for a reason he could not quite identify yet.

 

“Thanks”, The second he'd sat down, Harry started digging into his food, hardly able to hold back a moan at the satisfaction. It took him a little while and the full plate to realise Louis was eating fruit salad, or at least a minimal amount of it. Instead of caring about the amount though – Harry found it rude to hardly know him and ask such things, also people like his mother just couldn't eat in the morning –, his eyes widened at the sight of strawberries. “Fruit salad?! Where'd you get that from?”.

 

Louis' eyes crinkled like last night when he used a tissue to wipe some jam from the corner of Harry's mouth, the move not feeling uncomfortable or space-invading in the slightest. “Just walk around the corner, love”, he said and continued to watch after Harry when he stormed towards the part of the buffet he hadn't seen yet. He definitely shouldn't like someone he had only met eleven hours ago this much.

 

***

 

“So, what were you even going to do in Leeds?”, Louis asked, taking a deep drag of his cigarette. They were walking along the shore, directly on the beach this time, the cool wind blowing through their hair.

 

“Nothing special, really”, Harry replied, stopping to take a photo of the waves crashing in. “I just needed some time on my own. It's fall break right now, as you might know, so I decided to travel somewhere and figure some shit out”. He realised he might have sounded like he didn't want any company, so he quickly added, “I don't mind having people around me at all, I just don't really want to see the ones I spend every day with. How about you?”. Louis finished his cigarette and threw it into the next best garbage can.

 

“Would you like to travel along the coast or just England in general?”, he asked instead, avoiding the question, “Because I want to see more. More cities, more beaches, more everything. And I really think we could get along. Also, how exciting is this – two strangers roadtripping across the country, no plans, no rules”.

 

“I'm a little uncomfortable with no plans, to be honest, but other than that, it sounds beyond exciting. I'd love to do a road trip with you”. Louis' face lit up and he broke out into a wide grin.

 

“Great! Let's find a café and make a list of cities or places to travel!”. Everything was happening a little too fast again for Harry's liking, but this time it was giving him a buzz and he couldn't help but grin as well. Maybe his break wasn't gonna be about moping around and photographing sunsets every day.

 

***

 

“Alright, first off – what do we have? Money, clothes, time?”. Louis had taken a notepad and a pen from his backpack, sipping the tea he'd ordered.

 

“Well”, Harry said, taking a bite from his scone, “Since my hotel in Leeds booked the money right back, I have around 1450 pounds on the bank, if we consider all the money I own right now minus the rent I have to pay next week, hm, ...around 2250 pounds”.

 

Louis wrote it down in scribbled handwriting, adding his own money below, “So in conclusion, we have almost 5000 pounds. Sounds fair. I have clothes with me for two weeks and I guess so do you, so that's not an issue either. Same goes for time, I'd be willing to travel with you for the whole two weeks, call me crazy, but I feel like it could be fun”.

 

Harry agreed, nodding eagerly, “We should get the essentials out of the way first, before we start planning the trip, I mean”. He cleared his throat, then continued, “I'm 21, how about you? I'm at a college in Manchester for sociology and English, I'm aspiring to be a primary school teacher. I also work in a bakery”.

 

Louis laughed, shaking his head in amusement before taking another sip of his tea. “Well, I'm 23 and funnily enough, I'm also in college for teaching, but English and drama instead of sociology, also I'd prefer working with older kids. I live in Doncaster, and I work at a music store. Also I think it's important for you to know that I'm gay and single, so if you feel uncomfortable about that, I'm afraid we can't be friends”.

 

He was smiling despite the harsh comment, almost as if his gaydar was already telling him... “I don't, same goes for me”. The older boy laughed, his happy face slightly resembling a hedgehog.

 

“I knew it! Nice. So, which cities could we go to?”, the transition of subjects was confusing, but Harry managed to at least reply.

 

“I really wanna go to Leeds, maybe around the end. As a last stop, maybe”. Louis nodded and wrote _Leeds_ down as the last point of their list. He took out his phone then and suggested a route, to which Harry only nodded, seeing as apart from Leeds, and kind of Kingston-Upon-Hull, he hadn't heard of the other cities Louis jolted down. “Apart from the ride from here to Hull, where we'll need to take a bus, we can take the Northern Rail for all these destinations, the rides will take about 20 to 40 minutes. With all the expenses added up, it'll end up costing about 36.85£ for each of us. Let's say we pay around 40£ per night in a hotel, it’ll cost around 480£ for staying, let's say 500. There'll still be enough money for sightseeing etcetera. This is so exciting!”.

 

Harry nodded eagerly, looking over the calculations and stops they'd do.

 

“I love this”, he said, looking up at Louis, who was smiling equally. “If you don't mind, I'd do the booking, okay? Because I'd love to have a safe place for each night”.

 

Louis agreed and thus, Harry started doing phone calls while the older one was looking up sights they could visit. It was reckless, yes – just trusting a stranger enough to travel around with them, but for now, he'd had enough of people he thought he knew. Plus, there was not much to lose anyway, and Harry was very cute with his deep dimples and kind of slow speech that kind of hid the intelligence behind that pretty forehead.

 

They'd agreed to stay in Hornsea for that day and the following one, plainly because they hadn't seen much other than the coast and both of them were sure they weren't going to come here soon again, so the plan was to explore the place. They would start in the city centre today, then visit the Folk Museum the next day and hang out at the Hornsea Mere before catching their bus to Kingston-Upon-Hull. The following cities, Harry had noticed, were Goole and Wakefield, before Leeds, and since Louis actually was from Yorkshire, he trusted him about the choice.

 

Even though it wasn't warm, the sun was out and the sky bright; Harry felt like this was a good sign, as if the heavens were urging him to move along with this trip.

 

“Do I look good in this?”. Louis had put on a straw hat and some huge sunglasses, paired with an exaggerated duckface. The old lady in the corner of the souvenir shop frowned at them, muttering something about “youngsters being silly as always”. Harry let out a loud cackle, earning a satisfied smile from the older boy, who put the hat back, but decided on keeping the sunglasses.

 

They went to the counter to pay for the sunnies and a little porcelain seal for Gemma, Harry's sister. “I kind of like this place, really. Like, I'm usually one for big anonymous cities and stuff, but it kinda gets to me, the sea and the shore and all the tourists, I don't know”.

 

They were walking along the city centre's main street, watching people feed their kids ice cream, and old people sitting on benches whilst they enjoyed the sun.

 

“I think I enjoy both”, Harry replied after some thinking, “Like. I'm from a very small town in Cheshire originally and I love that everyone knows everyone, but I do also like the possibilities of a bigger city, all the jobs, new people, many different places...it's nice”.

 

“I like the way you think, young Harold. So, you live in Manchester now, correct? According to your age, you've been in college for about, mh, three years, so I guess you've met new people then? Why'd you flee?”.

 

Harry didn't really want to talk about it, especially because this was someone he'd just met but on the other hand, this theme would occur sooner or later anyway. He had no time to reply though because when he opened his mouth, he felt someone crash into him and all of a sudden, his shirt – his _favourite_ – was cold and somehow stained with red and brown splotches. There was someone with an apron lying to his feet. It was all very confusing.

 

“What the - ?” Louis next to him was wheezing of laughter, holding his tummy.

 

“I'm so sorry, oh my god, I'm so sorry, Sir”. The person – a waiter in his late twenties – scrambled to his feet, picking up his tray. “Somebody had dropped their ice cream earlier and I was in a rush and slipped. Damn, would you like to have something on the house as an apology?”. Harry grinned, nodded and automatically grabbed Louis' wrist to pull him along. It was a nice wrist, slim and dainty, the skin quite soft.

 

They'd taken a seat inside of the café as it was too cold for them to sit outside and the waiter – who'd also given Harry a white dress shirt of his to keep because of the stains – brought the orders to their table.

 

“Here we have one chocolate sundae and one big caramel cappuccino with sweetener”, he placed the orders in front of them, smiled once more and then vanished behind the counter.

 

“It's miraculous that you can eat ice cream in that cold”, Louis remarked while warming his hands on his cup.

 

“One can always eat ice cream. Plus, if you stand directly in the sun it's not that cold and in here it's really comfortably warm”.

 

“Maybe it's only your happiness that keeps you warm”. Harry cocked his head, opened his mouth to ask what he meant, when his phone rang.

 

“It's my mum, that's important”, he said instead and picked up. “Hello?...Hi, mum!”.

 

Louis kind of tuned out then, he found it rude to listen to someone else's conversation. Instead, he hoped that his new friend wouldn't ask about his last statement. It had just slipped out, but at least it was true. The main reason why he liked Harry so much was the warmth and happiness radiating from him. It sounded cliché, but whenever he smiled, dimples on display, it made Louis want to smile along and never stop. It happened quite a lot. Plus, Harry was smart and funny and pursued the same dream as him, so. He couldn't have found a better mate to travel around with.

 

“Yeah, I'll call you, bye mum!” Harry placed the phone back in his pocket and shook his head with a smile, picking up his spoon to start eating his ice cream. “She's always worried, it's crazy, when I told her about you last night, she was out of bounds. _How could you travel with someone you don't know, you're gonna get killed!_ ”. He chuckled and shovelled some chocolate ice cream in his mouth. “It's kinda cute, but also really annoying. She's calm for now though. How about your mum? Is she freaking out like that too?”.

 

Louis took a sip of his cappuccino, then smiled. “Yeah, she is. I have to text her in the mornings and in the evenings to tell her I'm alright. I have six siblings at home, so she's busy most of the time, but she never fails to care”.

 

The fondness in his smile was contagious and Harry had to force himself to take his eyes off of him. He was really pretty, what with his big blue eyes and his cute nose, but probably way out of Harry's league. They had just met, after all and he had no intentions of ruining this with a stupid rush of uncalled for feelings.

 

“So, I was thinking”, Louis broke the silence, “Maybe we could walk around some more, then head in for dinner at the hostel? Afterwards, we could hang out around the shore again and maybe drink a beer or two, how does that sound?”.

 

Harry agreed easily, then finished his ice cream and took out his camera really quickly to capture Louis with some remaining foam on his top lip. “Oi!”, he called out and tried to snatch the camera out of Harry's hands.

 

“No, no, Lou, we should take loads of photographs and put them in an album at the end of the trip for the memories”. The older boy's face lit up with fond, making his eyes crinkle again when he smiled.

 

“You’re one of a kind, really”.

 

They followed their plan, strolling casually through Hornsea's streets before heading for the hostel, where they arrived on time for dinner. It was a buffet again, this time featuring warm dishes like pasta, rice and meat as well as salad, toast and eggs.

 

Louis volunteered to look for a place to sit first, so that Harry could head right for the food. He came back with eggs on toast and salad, alongside a small bowl of yoghurt with fruit. Once he sat, Louis got up to follow Harry's footsteps and returned with some leafy greens and tomatoes on his plate. Beneath the leaves, a tiny scoop of scrambled eggs poked out.

 

“I don't think I'd be full from those greens”, Harry commented with a sloppy smile.

 

“Normally, I wouldn't either, but my stomach's been feeling a little bloated today, so. I usually eat more than today”, he assured him and picked up a tomato on his fork. “Anyway, what kind of place would you like to go to tonight? Like, a club or rather a cocktail bar or a pub?”.

 

The younger male finished chewing and swallowed, then replied, “I'm not really a fan of clubbing and anyway, I don't believe there are a lot of clubs here, doesn't seem like the place. I'd really like to drink a couple of cocktails though. I'm fond of cocktails”.

 

Louis grinned. “Well, I love clubbing, but you're probably right. So cocktails it is”.

 

They quickly got freshened up in their rooms and then rejoined each other. One of the hostel's receptionists recommended them a place, so they went there by foot, chatting about their lives.

 

“It's quite funny, actually, I'm in a band too. Well, we don't do gigs like you, but we still have fun together”.

 

“That's what's most important”, Harry replied, trying not to shudder when his arm brushed against Louis’.

 

“Like, we're lucky people enjoy hearing us, but even if they didn't – it's about us and the music we make and the fun we have, so we don't really need the gigs. I'd really love to hear you sing, though”. They reached the place, it was he beach venue Harry had seen when he'd walked alongside the promenade on his first night.

 

Again, classic rock was blaring through the walls and when they entered, the whole atmosphere just matched; the hall was separated into a dance floor that extended outside, a bar area that put neon lights and a Caribbean flair on display and obviously served cocktails and another bar connected to the dance floor as well as a darker area with couches and black lights.

 

Harry decided he absolutely loved this place and apparently so did Louis, as he was eager to pay his admission and flashed his ID almost excitedly.

 

“Wow, this is so cool!”, he yelled over the music and aimed for the bar.

 

“Do you reckon we'll get our cocktails in a coconut?”, Harry asked him once they'd got seated between a younger couple from America and some locals.

 

“I dare you to ask for that”.

 

“What'd I get out of it?”. Louis pondered on it for a second, then smiled.

 

“I'll sing you a song tomorrow”.

 

“Deal”.

 

The waitress smiled at them and asked them for their orders in a thick Yorkshire accent. “I'll have a vodka soda please”.

 

“I'd like a banana daiquiri, please. Could I get that in like, the stereotypical coconut?”. Louis cackled and patted Harry on the back, whereas the waitress didn't even flinch.

 

“That is obligatory, pal”. The older boy laughed even harder and smiled widely at his new friend.

 

“Guess I owe you a song”.

 

After a couple of drinks, the two boys felt up for dancing, which had mainly been Louis' idea – _My Sharona_ by The Knack was on and he loved the song, so he just pulled Harry along. The next song blended into it quite nicely, so they stayed on the dance floor.

 

Also, Harry was quite content where he was, with Louis dancing with him a little ridiculously, but every time their skin made any contact, it was like a fire starting in his gut. It took a couple of songs until he finally recognised another one: it was _Use Somebody_ by Kings Of Leon and while Louis was shouting the lyrics just as loud as Harry, he was almost _directing_ them at him.

 

“ _Someone like you, with all you know and how you speak”,_ he sang, smiling flirtatiously at the taller male, who was awkwardly moving his body to the beat, “ _Countless lovers undercover on the streets”._

 

Harry wanted to correct him, a little, because the lyrics actually went _under cover of the streets,_ but maybe Louis had changed them intentionally or maybe, Harry was just being an over imaginative dreamer. “ _Someone like you”_ , he growled along instead, returning Louis' action and giving him a bright smile.

 

“I'm really glad actually that my lost trip here took such a pleasant turn”, Louis said, already slurring his words a little. They'd sat down on the couches in the darker areal, sipping their new drinks and taking a break from dancing.

 

“Lost?”.

 

“Yeah, but actually I'm not sure whether I should tell you”. He giggled and took another sip from his vodka soda. “Gonna do it anyway, you should know. So I came here because I'd met someone, a boy, online, yeah? And I'd saved up to this day, I wanted to stay for a while and maybe drive to another city with him. But when I'm at his door, he looks all shocked and goes, _oh well sorry I didn't expect you here for real, I thought we were joking_. And then from behind him comes a pretty blonde girl, obviously confused about the situation. So of course I couldn't stay with him, which was why I chose the hostel”.

 

He lit himself a cigarette and took a deep drag before he continued. “I walked around then and when you found me on the bridge”, Louis inhaled the smoke again, seemingly struggling with the next part, “I was honestly considering jumping”.

 

Harry absolutely couldn't help his hand scrambling over to Louis' and taking it, squeezing a tiny bit to say something he couldn't put into words.

 

“Now, don't get me wrong, I don't usually think of killing meself when somebody rejects me, but. It has been a tough year from me and the only thing motivating me and I really shouldn't be telling you all this”.

 

Harry scooted a little closer to him, still holding his hand and waiting until he lifted his head. “Louis, I know it may be too early, but you can tell me anything. I'm practically a stranger and everything and everyone you talk about will not be familiar to me, so don't worry. I don't mind listening to you and I like you enough to want to keep you alive”. The older boy was silent for a while, then smiled.

 

“Thank you, Harry, it means a lot”.

 

The mood lifted quite easily when they hit the dance floor again, dancing a little closer this time. Around three in the morning, Louis hinted he'd like to leave, so they did. The walk to the hostel wasn't long, but they took ages because of the breaks they took in between to giggle or rest. When they were inside and needed to separate into their own rooms, Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's slim waist and whispered a _goodnight_ before heading for his door.

 

It kind of left Harry a little dumbstruck and he needed far too long to get the stupid lock to open.

 

***

When Harry awoke, it was because his phone was ringing. He reached for it and hardly managed to find it before the ring tone stopped, so when he answered, his voice was low and hoarse from last night.

 

“'Lo?”.

 

“Harry, it's me, Louis! I'm in front of your room, either let me in or come out. We're gonna see the museum and the Mere today!”.

 

“When did you get my number?”, Harry responded and wriggled out of his sheets to find his briefs somewhere next to the bed.

 

“You gave it to me last night”, Louis chirped and once Harry had put on his underwear, he hobbled over to the door and opened.

 

“Oh”.

 

Louis was already showered and dressed, his hair soft and feathery and he just smelt so clean.

 

“Sorry, I'm, I gotta get ready first”, Harry mumbled with a blush and headed for the shower with a stack of clean clothes, while his new friend sat down on the chair next to the desk. It took him embarrassingly long to dry his hair, which was why he just put it up in a bun and left the bathroom in skinny jeans and a plain black wool long sleeve.

 

“My bags are as good as fully packed, so we can get going right away”.

 

“No worries”, Louis calmed him and handed him his coat. “Let's go see fancy things”.

 

***

 

The museum showed the insides of a Victorian barn and the local pottery shut down around 2000. They took their time exploring everything, taking breaks in between because the hangover was not quite as non-existent as they'd pictured it (although Harry was complaining a whole lot more about it than Louis).

 

Harry took photos of things and themselves and possibly around a million pictures of Louis when he wasn't looking. He really regretted having forgotten his camera last night, but on the other hand, he was quite glad he didn't have any drunk selfies to delete. He wondered whether he should ask Louis about the things he'd told him last night, but decided against it, at least for now. Maybe he could bring it up later.

 

After the museum, they walked to the Hornsea Mere, a freshwater lake that supplied a nice view and an even nicer café they chose to have brunch in and look at the lake.

 

“I'm starving”, Harry groaned when he took up the menu and internally whined about the fact that he couldn't eat everything they offered.

 

“I'll have a mixed salad with the thousand-islands-dressing, roasted tomatoes and a poached egg, as well as a cup of Yorkshire tea”, Louis ordered and somehow, Harry felt relieved that he was eating. Maybe he'd really felt bad yesterday.

 

“Okay, um. I'll have the sweet corn fritters, one breakfast burger and the Belgium waffles alongside a cup of coffee please”. The waiter nodded friendly, and Harry shook his head jokingly, “When I'm hungover, I really can't even think of vegetables. Usually, I'm always for veggies, I like to think I eat quite healthily, but on days like these, I just need something greasy”.

 

Louis laughed and smiled at him. “Well, you do you then. I really envy your carelessness”. He ruffled around in his backpack and got the notepad out in which they'd written down their list. “Okay, Hornsea is done. Next up is Hull. We'll catch the bus in around two and a half hours from now, okay? Then we'll be on time and we can check into our hotel right away”.

 

Harry nodded and looked outside. “Some people have rented a boat and paddle across the lake. It looks funny, but I'd rather just watch”. His friend chuckled and Harry was thinking about how he could take the perfect picture of the lake without making it seem like every other tourist picture until their food arrived. He dug in immediately and felt his senses and body come alive again.

 

“Oh, this is so good. So worth it. I'm loving this place”. Louis agreed and nibbled on vegetables and his tomatoes while they were thinking of sights to see in Hull. It was a nice afternoon that they finished with a stroll along the lake and hurrying back to their hostel to grab their suitcases and catch the bus.

 

It was a 35-minute-ride, but with Louis by his side, time passed by twice as fast and Harry felt a tiny tug at his heart when he remembered that three out of 14 days were already over.

 

“It feels like we've known each other for so long when it's only been three days”, he therefore stated and smiled when the older boy rested his head on his shoulder in response, making an appreciative sound before he got his phone and headphones out to share with Harry.

 

“I promised you a song”.

 

The first chords the piano played seemed familiar to him, but he couldn't put his finger on the name of the song until he heard the voice. Louis' singing voice was much like the one he spoke with, a little high and raspy, but also kind of nice and special, not like any voice Harry had ever heard before. The song, he figured out, was _Look After You_ by The Fray and he was quick to decide he liked Louis' version better.

 

He told him as much, and the boy blushed.

 

“Oh shush you, it's not even that good”.

 

“I really like your voice”, Harry insisted and rested his head against Louis', even after the next song came on.

 

**Kingston-Upon-Hull**

 

It was early evening when they got to check in to their hotel, which was why they decided to not go out at night and sleep out the rest of their hangover.

 

That, however, did not stop them from sitting on their balcony later, where Louis was smoking and Harry was sipping a smoothie he'd bought from a café near their bus stop.

 

“What do you look most forward to?”, Louis asked, exhaling the smoke into the air, where it curled in front of the setting sun. Of course, Harry snatched his camera and quickly took a series of photos, hoping one of them would turn out nice.

 

“Um”, he put the camera down and faced Louis again. “Do you mean, like, life? Or tomorrow? Our trip?”.

 

“Well, all of it, if you will”.

 

He thought about it for a while, then slowly emerged his reply. “I definitely look forwards to The Deep tomorrow and the East Park because I'm sure I'll be able to take nice pictures there. For the whole of the trip, I think there's nothing I am not excited for, but I've always wanted to see Leeds, so maybe that”.

 

He paused, thinking about the last question.

 

“I do think I'll be happier than I am once I've got a steady job, so I can stop worrying about my student loans and whether I'll end up on the streets or not. Also, call me hopelessly romantic, but I hope that someday, I'll have found someone to settle down with. Like, get out of that pressure talk my parents will surely have with me some day and just let it all happen, you know? I think that's actually my biggest dream”.

 

When he looked up from his hands, he found Louis smiling warmly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Aw, Harold. I don't think it's _hopelessly_ romantic, it's rather... quite cheesy, really”.

 

Harry kicked his shin lightly, but couldn't hide his own smile.

 

“Oi, stop that!” The older boy put out his cigarette and got up, obviously threatening to chase Harry around for hurting him. The latter got up, giggling, and tried to put the biggest distance possible between them (which really wasn't much, considering it was a normal two-bed hotel room). “I'll catch you!”, Louis yelled and tackled Harry onto one of the beds, pinning him down with his weight and straddling his hips in order to start tickling him.

 

Harry squealed in surprise and tried shoving his attacker off him to no avail, “Say you surrender or I won't stop!”, Louis offered and tried to continue tickling the squirming boy.

 

“Okay, okay, I surrender”, Harry finally gave in and held his hands up, tears trickling in the corners of his eyes from laughing too much. He imagined his face to be quite red and definitely not seductive, other than what the position they were in suggested.

 

“Good boy”, Louis murmured and Harry _hated_ how it shot directly to his cock, which gave an interested twitch. _No,_ Harry thought, _not now_. The silence hung between them for a while, their eyes locked and probably both their mouths agape.

 

Louis cleared his throat then, got off the other boy and gestured around. “Well, uh. I guess this is your bed then”, he motioned to the one Harry was still lying on and nodded to himself.

 

“Yeah. Uh. Tomorrow, we'll go see The Streetlife Museum first, yeah? Then The Deep. Right. I'll, I'll just take a shower”.

 

Harry stayed on the bed, possibly a little bit dumbstruck.

 

***

 

The next morning started with a series of alarms Louis had set; Harry, on the other hand, was already awake and freshly showered, occupying himself with his camera while Louis slowly rolled out of bed and shuffled over to the bathroom.

 

It took him a bit to get clean and dry and style his hair, so by the time he came out again, Harry was reading a book.

 

“Is that Moby Dick?” He looked up from the pages, straightened his back and put the book aside.

 

“Yes, it is. I'm trying to find a different meaning in it for the next paper I have to write. Honestly, all I can think about is the whale”. Louis chuckled, then slipped on his old vans and held two thumbs up, signing he was ready to go. Harry smoothened his weird shirt and rearranged his necklaces before heading towards the door.

 

“Jesus, Harold, why are you even wearing a shirt? You're leaving nothing to the imagination”. Harry chuckled, then shrugged.

 

“May I remind you that _Harold_ is not my real name and I just like to show off what I got”. He wriggled his hips suggestively and Louis laughed, trying not to stare too hard.

 

“Aren't you hungry?”. Harry took a spoonful of his yoghurt with fruit and granola, shooting Louis a concerned look. Unfortunately, and _of fucking course,_ Louis' stomach grumbled right then.

 

“You know, I just can't eat much in the mornings”, he smiled and stirred his tea, trying to be convincing.

 

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, it's important to get your metabolism going”.

 

He sighed, “I've been preaching that to my mum for years, but she won't listen. What a shame”.

 

Harry shook his head exaggeratedly and continued munching his breakfast. He was worried, kind of, Louis didn't seem to eat a lot either way, but again, he reminded himself, it was none of his business. He didn't know Louis well enough to suspect something was off, so he kept it to himself. This would nevertheless not stop him from keeping an eye on that.

 

“Okay, so the Street-life Museum features what exactly?” Harry looked at the flyer he'd got at the hotel's reception and explained.

 

“There's multiple galleries about well, transport, like bicycles, trains and so on, also one about how the streets used to look back in the day and some artist I've never heard of's collection”.

 

They were standing in front of the museum now, ready to go inside, “Wait, let me just put that out”, Louis said and stubbed out his cigarette on the ground, then picked it back up and threw it into a bin.

 

“Smoking's not good for you”, Harry muttered, shy about sounding like a moralist. “

 

I know”, Louis shrugged and grabbed Harry's wrist to pull him into the museum, where they found out that you weren't allowed to take photos.

 

Harry pouted, “Honestly, all I wanted out of this was a good set of pictures”. He angrily pouted again at one of the super old bikes they were looking at as if trying to blame the object.

 

Louis, who was standing a couple of meters away, chuckled, “Aw poor you, try taking pictures with your mind instead. They call it memories”.

 

That remark got him a huff and a weak slap on the arm when Harry joined him. “I wanted to show others what I saw”.

 

“Well, then buy them a book from here, they're likely to have one. Don't pout like that, it's making me want to hug you till you stop huffing”. The both of them laughed, but Harry couldn't keep the stupid grin off his face.

 

They did indeed sell books, so Harry bought one (a little pricey, but he considered it worth it). The walk to their next station took barely 10 minutes, in which Louis lit himself another cigarette and quickly smoked it up.

 

“I'm most excited for the penguins, I think. How about you?” Harry took a sip from his water bottle and tucked it back into his backpack.

 

“Yeah, those are cute, but I feel like the sharks are cooler. Or those poisonous frogs”. Louis threw the cigarette butt away and took out his wallet just in time to pay their admission. The Deep was lit in blue and pale white lights, keeping the atmosphere as close as possible to the actual sea. Harry was allowed to take photos without flash, so every time he encountered something cool or an animal that made him squeal, he took quite an artsy photo. Louis, if he wasn't in the centre of the photo, might have pretended to make fun of Harry, but to be honest, he thought it was irresistibly cute.

 

The most of their time was spent with the penguins and sharks at last, which were separated but not too far away from each other, but ever since Harry was fake-mad at Louis

 

(“Harry, look at that frog”. “Yeah, it's, like, blue. Cool”. “No, no, isn't it like looking in a mirror for you?”. Harry had frowned at that and cocked his head, not quite sure what Louis meant. “Well, you look like a frog”. Harry had gasped, totally in shock and walked, no, _strode_ away from Louis, telling him curtly with twitching lips that he would never speak to him again.)

it wasn't that big a deal.

 

“If we were still using old cameras, your memory space would be full by now”.

 

“What?” Harry asked, looking around in the air, “Where did that sound come from? Maybe the pea over there moved”.

 

Louis' mouth fell open and he gasped, then ran up to Harry and tackled him. “I'm not that short! I'm five feet nine!”.

 

Harry giggled, gracelessly avoiding Louis' playful punches. “Sure you are, tiny mouse”. They were still giggling when they left the museum (especially because Louis had bought Harry a poisonous frog stuffy to make it up to him. Harry had blushed.) and a glance on the clock told them it was already half past four.

 

“We should grab a bite”, Harry exclaimed, “You must be starving by now”. Before Louis could even disagree, he had already been yanked into the next café. “It's on me, okay? Please just eat something, I don't want you to collapse”.

 

The look in Harry's eyes was honestly concerned and Louis had to admit it made him feel a little warm inside.

 

“Okay, okay. Relax”. He rolled his eyes, but hoped Harry didn't take it badly. It was just that he'd wanted to leave discussions like this at home. Harry ordered green tea and a cream cheese and herbs sandwich as well as a chocolate chip cookie and Louis settled for coffee and a fruit salad alongside a baguette with herbal curd and ham.

 

They found a table to sit on next to a window, so they could watch people go by. There hadn't been a lot of conversation since Louis had snapped, so he quietly called the other's name.

 

Harry looked up with soft eyes, so Louis hoped he hadn't upset him too much. “I'm sorry for being such a shit, it's just, it's a touchy subject and dealing with it is hard enough, so, please don't be mad”.

 

He hated sounding so weak, but Harry's smile was warm, “Don't worry about it, Lou. If you want to talk about it, remember what I told you at the club? I know nothing about your real life, so maybe it'd help to vent”.

 

He took a bite of his sandwich and Louis returned the smile, sipped his tea and started picking at the fruits. It took him a very long time to finish the fruit and half the baguette, which was why Harry ordered more tea and kept chatting to him like this was normal. Louis' hands were trembling when he set half the baguette aside. He couldn't finish it, even if he'd wanted to, he was full. He carefully looked up at Harry, expected him to yell or be mad that he didn't eat up, but instead, he was greeted by a proud smile.

 

“You full?” Louis nodded.,“Okay, let's go then”.

 

After they'd left the café, Louis still couldn't believe it. It was crazy, really, how Harry just _accepted_ it and didn't treat him any different. He didn't ask intrusive questions, didn't force him, just sat and smiled. When Louis had lit himself a cigarette, he reached out his hand, very slowly and brushed it along Harry's. It could have been an unintentional move, but when Harry took his smaller hand in his, Louis felt like they were on one wavelength.

 

It wasn't that late when they got back to their hotel room, but they still decided to stay in and watch some TV. Harry changed into his pyjamas and put his hair up in a bun while Louis smoked his last cigarette for the day and did the same.

 

“What'd you like to watch? We've got some CBB, TLC or uh, Jurassic Park is on, also Safe Haven”, Louis closed the balcony door behind himself and chuckled softly.

 

“I loved The Notebook, so I guess I'll set for the Nicholas Sparks movie”. They did just that and if Louis moved a little closer to Harry during the course of the movie, it could have also been accidental.

 

“I don't understand”, Harry exclaimed, “Why is he so cruel?! And why is she a ghost?! What is this, paranormal activity?”.

 

Louis knew he was only blabbering about to conceal the tears dribbling out of the corners of his eyes, so he let him.

 

“I don't know man, the whole story was a fucking roller coaster ride”. Harry got up and popped his joints, then headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth. “Hey, I wanna get ready for bed, too!”. Louis sprinted after him, knocking him with his shoulder so he had space to brush his teeth, too. It felt like they'd known each other for so much longer than they actually had and honestly, Louis hadn't felt this happy in months.

 

***

 

It was raining the next day, but it matched their plans. They visited the Museum of Club Culture, which Louis absolutely loved and even bought a book about after breakfast (which this time featured an apple for Louis because he was craving the warm feeling Harry's proud smile gave him).

 

Harry sneakily took pictures and almost got kicked out by a security guard, but his pretty smile melted even the guard and thus they could stay. They headed to a salad bar for lunch and even though it took Louis ages to finish again, Harry remained calm and asked him about his favourite things. It made Louis grow more and more fond of Harry which was why he just let it happen.

 

This boy might have been the best thing to happen to him already and he would surely not regret letting him in, would he? After their lunch, they took the subway to Dinostar, a museum where dinosaurs “came to life”. It was mainly for children, but that didn't stop Harry from reading every single information box about each dinosaur and telling Louis what else he knew about them.

 

It was impressing, to be fair, and also a good laugh when the children around were actually scared of some of the attractions. Harry bought himself a Pterodactyl hat and wore it with pride when they were strolling around town. If there was one thing that Louis totally admired about his new friend, it was his self-confidence.

 

Harry gave zero shits about what people thought of him and still remained calm and friendly. Louis aspired to be as careless as that one day and not wincing when people so much as looked at him for too long.

 

The receptionist at the Club Culture Museum had recommended them a club to go to, so Harry helped Louis to find something to wear at a small clothing store.

 

“I don't know, really. I'm not really into tight shirts like that, they're showing off too much”. Louis crossed his arms in front of his tummy while checking his reflection out in the full body mirror.

 

“Well, it's not like you've got anything to hide, really”. Harry, still wearing his Pterodactyl hat, was handing Louis more clothes to try on, this time focusing on a more loose fit.

 

“This is it”, Louis announced, wearing a light beige sweater that was about six sizes too large and ended around his hips.

 

“You're drowning in it. I mean, it looks cute, but”. When Louis faced him, his eyes were wide in shock and he'd blushed, juggling his words, “Um. I mean. Well, it's aesthetically pleasing and if it isn't too hot for you, you should take it, but make sure to wear skinny jeans”.

 

Louis chuckled, trying to hide his endearment and closed the curtain so he could get changed again. “Thank you Mr Stylist”.

 

Harry himself had found a shirt with a very strange floral pattern, so they paid together and went back to their hotel to get ready for the night.

 

“We should eat something small beforehand”, Harry shouted over the sound of the blow-dryer, “Otherwise we'll be too drunk too fast”.

 

Cold sweat formed in Louis' neck and he turned off the device, reaching for his hair spray. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't. It had been two meals today already and alcohol was not exactly a healthy beverage, so he definitely needed the buffer zone. “I'm not hungry yet”, he slowly said, pretending to be very focused on his hair, “Maybe I'll eat some peanuts there or summat”.

 

Harry didn't reply, but took a closer look at him when he left the bathroom. “Louis...”. There was silence for a moment and when Harry spoke again, it was obvious that he tried to appear cheerful. “Alright, but I'm gonna go grab something. Don't leave without me, yeah?”.

 

He shot Louis an exaggerated smile and left the room entirely. There was a sinking feeling in Louis' gut, but he was also relived he didn't have to eat. It was fucked up and he knew it, but Harry didn't need to know. He wouldn't understand and there would be frustration and fights and Louis could very well do without all that. He still manned up and went after Harry to at least sit with him through dinner.

 

“Is that what you're gonna wear?!” Louis said to lift the general mood and it seemed to work as Harry put on an outraged face and gasped: “What?! Why?” He looked down on himself and frowned, then huffed again.

 

“Just because you prefer wearing sacks and old skater shoes”.

 

“Oi!” Louis giggled, “At least I don't look like a runway mannequin put out on the streets”. Harry giggled and took a bite from his chicken.

 

“You're complimenting me, you know”.

 

“What's that delicious meal?”, Louis asked to not lose himself in a squealed flow of more compliments he could tell Harry.

 

“Chicken wrapped in parma ham stuffed with mozzarella cheese”.

 

“Huh”. Louis frowned.

 

“Sounds an awful lot familiar to me, but I can't tell you why. Whatever, is it good?” Harry nodded and when he'd finished and paid, they made their way to the club.

 

The club offered cheap drinks and good music, so they ended up on the dance floor quite soon. Louis was a better dancer than he gave himself credit for, even though that only showed with a lot of drinks in his bloodstream.

 

Even though he'd only gently swayed at the start, he was now moving like he'd practised for ages. Unfortunately, that seemed to attract some guy from the back of the floor as he was moving closer and closer to Louis. Harry knew he technically had no right to, but the man was surely around 35 and he may or not may not have grown a little protective. Especially because it was obvious that Louis didn't want to dance with him since he kept moving away from the man's circling hips against his bum. The creep started whispering into Louis' ear and even though he kept shaking his head and telling him _no_ loud enough for others to turn their heads, the other wouldn't back off. When he sneaked his hand on Louis' tummy, Harry's patience came to an abrupt end.

 

“Hey!” he called and gripped the man's arm from Louis, “Back off, didn't you hear him?! Fucking creep”.

 

Usually, it wasn't like him at all, but the alcohol had got to him and Louis needed to be protected.

 

“I was just testing the waters”, the man slurred and held his hands up in an apologetic manner before he finally moved out of their sight.

 

“Thank you”, Louis muttered, “I don't feel like dancing anymore”.

 

A couple of hours later, Harry called a taxi to their hotel as neither of them thought they could manage the way back. They crashed into their beds without brushing their teeth and mumbled their good nights, looking forwards to finally falling asleep.

 

Harry was already snoozing when he suddenly felt a nudge against his arm. “Haz, can I sleep in your bed?”

 

There was no explanation needed, Harry just moved a bit to the side and felt Louis' warmth next to him immediately, as well as a small arm wrapping around his middle and a skinny leg curling around his thighs.

 

“I'm a clamshell”, he giggled and Harry was too drunk to hold himself back; he ran his hand over Louis' mostly-naked thigh, his eyebrows raising when he felt the scabs.

 

“Louis, what is –”.

 

A tiny index finger laid down on his lips and Louis made a shushing sound. “No, don't ruin this moment”. He rested his head on Harry's chest and there was plain no other solution but to wrap his arm around Louis' small body and hold him close. Words wouldn't be able to say as much. And if his heart was racing like crazy when he gently caressed Louis' back, it was because of the alcohol in his bloodstream.

 

Needless to say, their next morning didn't really start in the morning. Around 2 pm, Harry felt Louis shift next to him and automatically pulled him closer.

 

“I want coffee”, Louis whispered and Harry opened his eyes minimally.

 

“Yeah, we could get breakfast somewhere in The Old Town, according to plan”. His drawl was even slower than usual and he was about to fall asleep when suddenly, his source of additional warmth moved.

 

“Well, I'll, um, get dressed then”. He heard Louis take off towards the shower and closed his eyes for another couple of blissful minutes of sleep.

When he awoke, it took him ages to get to the bathroom with fresh clothes. He figured Louis was already out of there and on the balcony or something because he'd slept for at least twenty minutes. H

 

e opened the door, dropped his clothes on the closed toilet seat and looked up at the sound of water spray.

 

“Oh, my God”. Louis was standing behind the shower's glass door, staring at Harry with wide eyes.

 

“I'm sorry, I thought you were out of here, oh my god”. Unfortunately, he couldn't tear his eyes off him; Louis was really, really skinny, his bones protruded at his hips and ribcage. Something else caught Harry's eye a little more though – his tiny hands wrapped around his – quite thick from what Harry could see – cock.

 

“Jesus, I'm, uh, leaving”. His face was a deep shade of red when he closed the bathroom door behind himself and he wondered how many more awkward things would happen today.

 

Harry had hurried past Louis once he'd left the bathroom and succumbed to what he called an awkward and sad wank in the shower, without noises of course because _maybe_ the sight of Louis' cock had got to him more than he'd like to admit. While he was properly cleaning up though, he tried to think of things he could say to Louis that would ease the situation.

 

The drunk cuddles could be overlooked, he figured, and maybe the shower accident hadn't been half bad. Especially because, well, it had been Louis to be caught in the act, so he might as well go out with a smile. Unless that would make it seem like he was mocking him. Harry was still thinking about it when he left the bathroom with his hair dried and his body smelling and feeling so very fresh.

 

“Can we agree not to talk about this?”, Louis asked right away, making Harry stifle a laugh.

 

“Okay. What even are you talking about?”. Louis rolled his eyes and got up, allowing Harry to take him in. He was dressed in his usual tight black skinny jeans and a simple black t-shirt, vans on his feet and a black jacket hung over his shoulders. His fringe had been styled out of his face for today and the first whiskers of stubble were visible along his jaw and above his lip.

 

“Harold, are you still drunk or did you just fall asleep?” Harry hadn't realised he'd been staring, so he blushed and laughed it off. He was glad when the autumn wind finally hit his face.

 

The old town was seriously nice to look at, the old buildings suggesting a time far earlier than today. They quickly found a small café with a lovely view outside and settled to have breakfast there.

 

“You can have some of my omelette”, Harry quietly offered when they got their order and Louis had only received a cup of coffee.

 

“No, thanks, my stomach is kind of upset”. It was a repetitive conversation, kind of; Harry had the same feelings every time and felt a little helpless about what to do.

 

“Please, Lou, only a tiny bit. Maybe it's upset because you're hungry. At least share my food with me”.

 

Louis blushed, his brows furrowed in what looked like a mixture of frustration and fear. “I'm not going to eat your food away from you”.

 

Harry called the waitress over when she was within reach and ordered some fruit salad. “You needn't have done that, I could – ”. Harry shook his head, then smiled at Louis.

 

“I know, but you wouldn't have. So please, take your time, I'm not rushing, but try to get something down, okay?” Louis kept staring at him wordlessly until his food arrived; how did Harry manage to convince him every single time, without so much as threatening him or making him feel uncomfortable? He hated to admit it, but after he had finished his meal over smalltalk, he did indeed feel less queasy.

 

Harry was in heaven. The scenery was perfect for a couple of very nice photographs and since the sky was clear, the lightning was on point.

 

“Louis, please, just one picture”. The older one groaned.

 

“Nah, come on. Isn't a selfie enough?” Earlier on, Louis had snapped them in front of an old pub, just to have at least one picture of the both of them.

 

“It absolutely isn't. I've been taking pics of you all the time, but I want you to look into the camera for once”, Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“You stalker. Okay, but don't expect me to look all cool, okay?”

 

“Just don't make a face. Just smile. Yeah, right there. Now, say cheese”. He flashed a toothy yet mellow grin and tried not to look to disinterested, “That was perfect! See, it wasn't half bad, hm?” Harry didn't think before looping his arm through Louis' when they strolled along, but since Louis didn't object, he took it positively.

 

***

 

“Hey, Harry?” Back to their room only a while later, since they'd got going quite late and were still not feeling too great and also it had started raining, they were lying on Harry's bed, the pizza carton shoved aside.

 

Louis had managed to eat three slices, which had plastered a smile of pride on Harry's face. Sometimes, Louis couldn't even believe this guy existed.

 

“Yeah?” His eyes were glued to the TV, where Arielle was playing.

 

“Did you... did you mind the cuddling yesterday? I enjoyed that, um, I really like physical contact, like, platonically, and if you don't mind, maybe we could do that sober, too”.

 

It had taken a lot of guts to even ask and now that it was out, Louis wasn't sure it had been the right thing to say out loud. When Harry faced him with a wide smile, he relaxed.

 

“I would love to, really. You're small enough to be comfortable to cuddle with”.

 

“Oi!”, Louis called, attacking him with a pillow, “Now you'll never get cuddles from me again, Styles! That wasn't necessary!”.

 

Both of them giggled while trying to hit each other with the pillows, but settled when Harry profusely apologised. Louis appeared almost shy when he shuffled closer to Harry and rested his head on Harry's chest. He was immediately wrapped in two long arms holding him closer, which was why he quickly relaxed.

 

“I like this”, Louis whispered, running his hand over Harry's flat tummy.

 

After switching off the lights, he replied to him, “I do, too. Even though I'm a little scared to crush you. No offence, oh God”, he blushed and stammered, “You're just very fragile is all. If I hurt you, you gotta speak up, okay?”.

 

Louis didn't say anything, just closed his eyes and enjoyed the way Harry's fingernails were gently scratching his scalp. When his breathing had evened out, Harry sighed and adjusted to Louis' breathing pattern before he also slipped into his dreams.

 

***

 

The next day, they had the morning and early afternoon to enjoy the East Park, where they planned to leisurely stroll along and visit the Animal Education Centre. After a rather quick breakfast and stuffing their clothes and things back into their suitcases so they could quickly take off later, they made their way to the Park.

 

“Shit, I need a new pack of cigarettes”.

 

“No, you don't. You're telling yourself you do, but – ”. Louis had put his fingers in his ears and started singing “I really don't care” by Demi Lovato over Harry's words, leaving the latter giggling.

 

“Okay, okay, no more moral speeches”. They stopped at a small shop to buy Louis' cigarettes and drinks before continuing their walk.

 

“I mean, in all seriousness, does it bother you that I smoke around you?”. Louis' voice was full of real concern, so Harry quickly set things straight.

 

“No, not really. It looks kinda hot, actually, but I would still prefer you doing your body a favour by quitting. Unless you blew the smoke in my face, though, I am totally fine”. Maybe he should have skipped the _looks hot_ part, but Louis didn't seem bothered by that as he just chuckled.

 

“The flyer said they have tarantulas and snakes, how cool is that! I'm so glad the weather isn't too bad today”. Louis nodded and told him about his friend Perrie who used to have a pet snake to help her scare unwanted admirers away.

 

Of course neither of them admitted it, but after the beetles and spiders, they were glad to see guinea pigs, peacocks and goats instead. Harry, who had not used his camera too often with the long-legged insects, was now taking at least ten pictures of every furry being in the room, including one where Louis was gently petting a goat's head.

 

The camera never left his hand, especially once they were strolling around the park. The pale sunlight was falling through the trees and Louis tried not to blush when Harry told him he looked good in every picture. “Turn down the compliments”, he therefore muttered with a smile and tripped over the tiniest of stones when he felt Harry's fingers gently reaching for his. His face turned a bright red and he hated himself for ruining this moment.

 

“Last day here, huh?” Louis was shoving bits of his salad from the plate's side to side and nodded. Luckily, there hadn't been weird silence or tension since _his accident._

 

“I'm looking forwards to other cities now, though. Like, I feel it's good that we don't stay as long in the others”, Harry had a question burning on his tongue, but he couldn't ask. He needed to know whether Louis wanted to stay in touch after their ways parted or whether he would put this off as a summer adventure and never look back. Maybe, though, he should wait before asking anyway, since you never knew what would happen.

 

They spent their last hour partially at the park and finding the way from their hotel to the train station. Their train was late, but since they had no rush, it didn't matter.

 

Goole was only 30 minutes from Hull, but Harry somehow still managed to fall asleep with his head resting on Louis'. Since he slept very deeply, Louis started tenderly running his fingertips over the veins in Harry's hands, hoping not to wake him up. Harry, unbeknownst to Louis, had actually only been napping and tried his hardest not to let the goofy smile show.

 

**Goole**

 

Goole was not a particularly big town, but since they were only staying for two days, it totally sufficed. After checking in to their hotel, they ended up strolling through downtown a bit, admiring some shop windows and having tea together. “Have you heard about The Junction?”, Louis asked while flicking through a brochure.

 

Harry shook his head, swallowing the last bite of his tortilla wrap.

 

“It's a huge cinema, like, uh, a cinema _plus_ , you know? They have an auditorium and they also do workshops etcetera. What I mean to say, we could watch a movie, couldn't we? And afterwards, we'll have a drink at their café bar. How does that sound?” Harry nodded, pulling out his phone.

 

“Sounds perfect. I'm gonna check out which movies are on at the moment and when they're being screened. I'd like to head back to the hotel beforehand, so I can take a shower and dress nicely”.

 

Louis sipped his diet coke through a straw and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows. “Ooh, like a date, huh?”. Harry wasn't quite sure whether he blushed because of the way Louis suckled the straw or because of his comment. Not that it mattered, anyway, because the older boy was already cackling. It was truly mortifying.

 

***

 

They'd decided to watch a horror movie because Louis suddenly wasn't into rom-coms anymore (Harry suspected that he was scared people might think he and Harry were dating, which kind of stung for an undefined reason). He was smoking out on their balcony while Harry was taking a shower, leaning his head against the cool tiles. _Stop making up how he's gonna confess his undying love for you_.

 

He let cold water hit his skin and tried willing the blooming feelings and thoughts away; even if Louis fell for him, they wouldn't stand a chance in the real world. Shaking his head, he got dressed and dried his hair till it was only damp before putting it up in a bun. Louis looked him up and down with an approving nod when he made his way to the small bathroom.

 

“Oi, look who dressed up”. Harry tried fighting the blush, but ended up looking down onto the ground with a shy smile. “Aren't you cute, too”, Louis winked at him before fully entering the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

 

The closet had mirrors, so Harry took a second look at himself. He was wearing a black dress shirt with red flowers printed on, the first buttons open. White skinny jeans that left barely any room for any coincidences that might be happening were hugging his legs and the look was finished off by his black boots with a slim buckle on the side. Harry smiled at his reflection and might have giggled a bit before calling his mum to update her.

 

Louis did look a little underdressed next to him, but it didn't matter to Harry; he still found him to look stunning.

 

“I just didn't bring any fancy clothes, that wasn't on the original schedule. I wish I had one of me blazers with me”. Instead, he was wearing dark blue slightly baggy trousers rolled up at the ankles with a grey t-shirt and his vans. “I swear to god, my wardrobe at home is a little more exquisite”.

 

Harry giggled and paid for his ticket and water, waiting for Louis afterwards. “I'm warning you, by the way, I'm actually easily scared”, Harry said once they were in their seats, the auditorium slowly filling up with people.

 

“I'll protect you, don't worry”. Even though the short caress of his arm was probably only meant as a joke, Harry couldn't help the tingling sensation he felt.

 

“Thank you”, he muttered and was more than glad when the doors were closed and the lights got dimmed.

 

It turned out that Louis was actually more of a screamer than Harry; every time a jump scare occurred, as predictable as it got, he would make a small _aah_ sound or at least huff out a breath. Watching it was fairly amusing and Harry knew he wouldn't ever stop teasing him about it.

 

In general, the movie had been okay, but nothing new as it featured the typical family in an abandoned house and the daughter meets her new strange neighbour who of course has a secret. Louis went on about it, complaining about the lack of storyline, hiding the fact that he had been scared shitless.

 

There was hardly any sitting space left in the café bar, so they took the next best seats. Jazz music was playing quietly in the background, giving the bar a comfortable atmosphere.

The drinks were kind of expensive, but the happy hour had just started, so cocktails were only three pounds each. “

 

It's a sign”, Louis announced when he got back with two fancily shaped glasses, “It means we have to get the most drunk we can in one hour”.

 

“No”, Harry shook his head and pointed towards the sign, “You should have looked closer. Of course, happy hour isn't just one hour long, but three. So, let's get started”.

 

After a while, the music had been changed to rather mellow electronic tracks and the alcohol made them seem even more fuzzy.

 

Louis was giggling about something he couldn't remember and somehow, the drink in his hand had been refilling itself. It was truly strange, but Louis was so adorable, the way his eyes crinkled and he covered his mouth with his hand while laughing and Harry was sure he loved him. Like, truly, madly, deeply.

 

“Harry, I wanna go”, Louis said with a sparkle in his eyes, so it was not because he was feeling bad or because he was bored.

 

Even though it was already quite late and happy hour had ended around thirty minutes ago, they still had to (gently) elbow their way through the crowd. The cool, fresh air hit their faces immediately after leaving the building, but it hardly did anything in terms of sobering them up.

 

Somehow, Louis' smaller hand was in Harry's and the toothy grin was plastered onto his face. “You know, I've always wanted to kiss someone beneath a street light, even though it's such a cliché thing to do, I just think it'd be romantic”.

 

“I could kiss you beneath this”, Harry pointed at a street lamp right above him, “one. Like a mistletoe”. Louis giggled, then pulled him closer and shrugged.

 

“Okay”.

 

Had Harry been sober, he wouldn't have said anything and he sure as hell wouldn't have mindlessly acted like this. This, as in he bowed forwards a bit, wrapped his arms around Louis' narrow waist and bumped their noses together. He felt the smile on Louis' lips when he eliminated the last inch between them and almost cried out in relief. His lips were soft and he tasted of cocktails and cigarettes, the taste intensifying when he opened his mouth and licked along Harry's bottom lip teasingly. He responded immediately and realised how easily he could get used, or addicted, to the way he tasted.

 

Louis was also nibbling on his bottom lip now and sighed softly when Harry let out a small sound of pleasure. He was caught a little bit of guard when Louis pulled away, but when he barfed right next to the street light, he was glad he had.

 

***

 

His eyes just wouldn't open. It felt like his eyelids were made of lid and he couldn't lift them no matter how hard he tried. There was a ruffle next to him and skin making contact with his and...wait. _Wait._

 

“Oh my god”, he quietly said and almost forgot his eyes were glued shut, then decided to just wail a tiny bit and go back to sleep.

 

His slumber didn't last long though because he soon felt someone nosing his shoulder.

 

“Harry, are you awake?”. He replied with a grumble, then turned to face Louis. They were lying closer than he would have expected, so he felt himself blush almost immediately. “We should get going”, Louis mumbled, “Because we still wanna see the museum before we head off again, don't we?”.

 

Harry swore there was something in Louis' eyes that hadn't been there before the kiss last night, but as long as things hadn't become awkward, he wouldn't mention it.

 

They took their respective showers and got dressed before heading to the breakfast hall and finding a small table next to the window. “I definitely need some bacon after last night, do you mind if I go first?”. Louis shook his head and gestured over to the buffet the hotel offered and watched as Harry made his way over. He took out his phone to text his mum and sisters that he was truly okay and tried not to think too much about the incident last night.

 

He'd liked it, god damn, but how was he supposed to approach it? Had they been living in the same city, it wouldn't have been that big a problem, but like this, he knew it was hopeless. Also, why would Harry soberly kiss him? He wouldn't be the first boy to ditch Louis and if he dug any deeper than he already had, he wouldn't want to stay and put up with his fucked up mind. Louis snapped out of his thoughts when Harry set down a plate and two bowls alongside a cup of tea or coffee.

 

“Harold, how the hell are your hands so big? Me, I couldn't even carry two glasses at once”. Harry giggled and blushed like Louis had complimented his hair or something and dropped himself onto the chair.

 

“You're kind of small all over, anyway”. Louis' jaw dropped and he started protesting. “Oi, watch your mouth, pal! You haven't even seen...”. Silence fell over the table for a moment until both of them broke out into laughter.

 

“Alright, alright, maybe not _every_ part of you is small”. It was Louis' turn to blush now and he got up a little flustered, leaving for the buffet.

 

He took a small bowl from the stack, as well as a fork, and headed straight for the fruit section. His stomach was grumbling; actually, he was kind of glad he'd had to vomit last night because it meant not everything he'd consumed would stay and be digested. With a sigh, he loaded strawberries and fruit salad into his bowl and poured some soy yoghurt over the chopped fruit. He walked back to the table, ignoring the sweet treats and crispy bacon and fried egg containers to his side and set his bowl down before returning to the buffet to get himself some Yorkshire tea.

 

“You need to restock on fibre and minerals”, Harry said, realising too late that he indicated remembering the kiss.

“I'm eating already, please”. Louis' tone was harsher than expected, so Harry looked down at his plate and picked some bacon up with his fork.

 

“Can I at least order you a kale smoothie?” When Louis looked at him, Harry's eyes were pleading and it almost hurt to see how hard he was trying.

 

“Okay”, The younger male seemed to start glowing then with his smile so wide and asked the next best waiter about smoothies. After the waiter had promised to bring one to their table and thus Louis had Harry's attention back, he nudged his bigger hand with his index finger. “Hey, by the way... thank you for caring so much”.

 

“No need to thank me”. Harry was beaming then, slowly placing his hand on top of Louis'. He was glad when the waiter brought him the smoothie so that he could turn his attention to something else because otherwise, the fond in his eyes would have exposed him.

 

***

 

Like the other days, their bags were packed already when they left for the museum. “I'm not sure how much I'm actually going to like it”, Louis stated once they were inside.

 

“Open your mind and see”, he heard from another corner of the room where Harry was examining harpoons. “I do think it's kind of interesting how everything changed over the decades”, he continued, “I mean, imagine nowadays most men would be fishermen or coal miners. Imagine _yourself_ as a coal miner”.

 

Harry's vivid imagination helped Louis in terms of not being bored to death and when they were outside to look at some of the boats, he actually found himself playing along.

 

“Like, imagine we'd be rivals, always competing who could get to West Yorkshire the fastest”. Harry chuckled. “You would probably try to come up with new ways to get your boat to be faster and end up losing to me because in reality, you ruined your engine with your new ways. But”, he kept talking over Louis' high-pitched complaining, “Imagine us being rivals _in love_. Star-crossed lovers, so to say”. He smirked when he saw that Louis was left speechless and slowly strolled towards the next boat.

 

Unfortunately, they didn't have time to take a boat trip, so instead, Harry suggested getting coffee and walking along the Dutch River. It had chilled down a bit, so the both of them were wearing jackets; Louis was clad in an olive parka and Harry had thrown on a black peacoat. “Should have brought me gloves”, Louis cursed while trying to light a cigarette. Harry cupped his hands around the lighter and thereby helped Louis to get the cigarette to burn.

 

“That cold?”. He laced his fingers through Louis' after he'd taken the cigarette into the other hand and couldn't hide the smile lingering on his face.

 

The train ride took around an hour, so Harry had taken his book out and Louis used the time to call his mum to talk to her in person. She asked about this and that and Louis kept assuring her he was alright and eating.

 

“Do you like the person you're travelling with?”.

 

“Of course, mum. He's super kind and sw- ...smart and funny, couldn't have made a better choice”, Jay giggled.

 

“No, Lou. Do you _like_ like him? Only say yes or no, since he's with you”. Louis sighed and pretended to be annoyed, when actually, his heart was racing. “I don't know, but I think so”, he finally confessed, trying not to blush. His mum almost lost it.

 

“Oh my god, really? You have to send me another picture of him, I have to know more about my future son-in-law! You can't believe how happy I am for you”. He struggled to pick out words that wouldn't tell too much to Harry, who was trying to pretend to be lost in the pages of his book when he really wasn't.

 

“Mum, it's not like, settled yet. We haven't talked about it. Please keep it down, what if it doesn't work out?”. Jay was already convinced it would, though, so Louis' weak protests were probably not even heard. When she finally hung up, Louis found Harry smirking at him.

 

“Who was that about?”.

 

“Don't get too excited, it was only about some college stuff and work placements and so on”.

 

“Uh huh”. Louis hated that he didn't believe him, but on the other hand, he really couldn't blame him.

 

**Wakefield**

 

“No way”, Louis said, looking up from his flyer and back down on it. “This is never the same castle”.

 

Harry set his camera down so it was dangling from his neck again and replied, “It is, but it's been destroyed, you know. Did you know that Pontefract Castle used to be known as Pomfret Castle and even Shakespeare wrote about it. In _Richard II_ , the king dies here eventually. People from all over the country feared the castle as a prison as it had quite a bloody reputation. Like, literally bloody”.

 

Louis hummed in interest. Harry had a way of telling things that always reeled him in, no matter how boring he actually found them.

 

“Locals eventually decided to have this place torn down because it was too bad for the city's reputation, it seems. They wanted to end the era”.

 

Louis was following Harry around the castle's grounds, stopping at the dungeons. “It's weird, innit, I mean, it's all open air now and it seems so harmless, but you can still see names engraved into the walls. That's some scary shit”.

 

“It is, but it's also damn impressive. They had like, ten towers, meters and meters high and everything was totally modern. Royalty was meant to live here, and yet...”.

 

“Well, if I had been one of the townspeople, I would have agreed, to be honest. Everything concerning this place is shady as fuck. Also, imagine living here – the place is huge. Even as royalty, I wouldn't fancy walking me feet off every day”.

 

Harry laughed and strolled along, taking pictures of the ruins and everything else he found interesting. “I cannot believe they used to grow liquorice here, what even. This castle is a mess”. Some elderly couple came by right then and complained about youngsters while shaking their posh heads, leaving Harry giggling.

 

“I really like this place”.

 

After having walked around the whole area, they spread out the disposable blanket they'd brought and unpacked their lunch boxes, so that the blanket was soon covered in fruit, vegetables, crackers and sandwiches as well as two thermo cans full of coffee and tea. Louis was smoking, blowing the smoke away from Harry and occasionally sipping coffee from his cup, while Harry was munching a banana.

 

“Would you like to eat something, Lou? Like maybe some berries or a cracker, anything?”. His smile was wide and he offered Louis the plastic tray filled with blueberries.

 

“Not really hungry”. He picked out a couple of berries and also some from the raspberry package and nibbled on them slowly, piece by piece. He'd been eating so much lately and he could basically _feel_ the way it made him gain weight and put on fat. He closed his eyes for a second and willed himself to not give in to Harry's attempts any further. Which was easier said than done because honestly, who could resist eyes and a warm, honest smile like that?

 

Despite their original plan to visit the Pontefract Museum, they took the bus downtown and had a look around, admiring the chapel in midst the city and strolling through allies while looking at some clothing stores. Inside an independent designer store called Ashworth&Bird, Louis bought himself a blazer for the evening because he had taken zero fancy wear along.

 

Harry found some more dress shirts (as though he didn't already have enough) and after they'd paid, the hunt for shoes began. Fortunately, Louis wasn't all too picky, so he took the cheapest pair he could find. It was only for one night, after all.

 

Having a good time meant not realising how the time went by, so both of them were a little shocked when the clock already showed six pm. In order to get in the theatre on time, they had to get back to their hotel and dress up a bit right now. Luckily, they caught the next bus, thus having left enough time to get theatre-ready.

 

When Harry came out of the bathroom to tie his shoes, Louis couldn't stop his jaw from dropping. Even though his outfit was quite simple – black skinny jeans (what else), black button down mainly unbuttoned and a pinstripe blazer –, he looked stunning. His dark brown curls loosely fell over his shoulders and framed his face just right.

 

When he smiled, his dimples showed and Louis' heart seemed to drop. He couldn't help it, couldn't convince his heart it was hopeless – he was head over heels in love with this almost-stranger. And needless to say, he had already kissed him. Drunkenly. And had killed the mood by throwing up right next to him.

 

“Like what you see?”, Harry teased and yanked Louis from his thoughts. He blushed and stammered a reply before getting into the shower himself. So what if he had a quiet wank in there, a man has needs. It definitely had nothing to do with Harry. At all.

 

Even though he'd made the effort to shave and style his hair into a quiff, Louis didn't feel like he looked half as nice as Harry; his jeans hugged his butt tighter than the rest of his legs, making him look bigger than he was. He bit his lip, ignored the rumbling in his stomach and finally left the bathroom.

 

Harry looked up from his phone and took him in, cocked his head and smiled gently. “You look utterly beautiful”.

 

Louis thought he was imagining things, wanted to ask him to repeat, but Harry was already halfway out of the room. “We gotta hurry a bit”, he winked at Louis, who was still a bit dumbstruck and finally staggered after him.

 

***

 

To say he was excited was an absolute understatement. Louis had seen _CATS_ on DVD at least a hundred times, but seeing it in real life was something else, even if it was performed by semi-professional actors. It took him a lot not to sing along to all the songs or make dramatic gestures.

 

Drama and theatre in general had always helped him forget a bit; he could pretend he wasn't himself, could push his feelings away and replace them with someone else's. Pairing that with proper adjustments to the stage, music and lights, he could create a wholly another world that would occupy him for weeks. Even after the show was over, he couldn't stop beaming nor talking about it. The moon was shining quite brightly down onto the mostly-empty streets and Louis couldn't remember when Harry had taken his hand, but he wasn't complaining.

 

“I really like you like this”, Harry said, making Louis shoot him a questioning look.

 

“Like what?” He shrugged.

 

“Bubbly, talkative. Like, you always talk a lot, but it's different, you know? Your eyes are shining and you're beaming. It's very beautiful”. He stopped walking then, leaving them standing under a streetlight. Again. “Call me a sap, but I'd love to be the one that gets you smiling like this more often. I'd love to lift all these sorrows off your shoulders and silence the demons in your head. I may not have known you for too long and maybe I don't even properly know you, but what I do know is that you're special to me. I know that I want to do everything I can to make you happy, Louis”.

 

Louis didn't know what to say, so the words leaving his mouth were the first in his head. “And I really want you to”.

 

Their lips touched then, memories flooding their brains. This time, though, the kiss was more intense, it felt realer and more sincere. Harry was resting his hands on the small of Louis' back, covering almost the entire span.

 

Louis was glad Harry had bowed down a bit because like this, he could effortlessly wrap his arms around Harry's neck and run them gently through his hair. The kiss wasn't rushed or wanton, it was a little tentative and careful, but also filled with emotions unable to be put into words.

 

They didn't speak on their way back, but it was a comfortable silence. Every time Harry's thumb grazed the knuckles on his hand, Louis felt a little more alive than he had in years.

 

Somehow though, every time their eyes met, they broke out into giggles as though they were teenagers after their first kiss.

 

Louis closed the door behind himself, turned around about to ask Harry whether he wanted to maybe order some wine or watch TV, but he immediately felt someone pressing his back against the door, “I've been wanting to kiss you for so long”, Harry muttered, his nose brushing Louis', his hands roaming along his sides.

 

“I wanted that, too, those lips of yours, damn. Every time you sipped those stupid smoothies I was going mad, I imagined them around my cock”. Harry shuddered, almost as surprised as Louis himself about the words leaving his mouth. Something about Harry made him gain confidence, made him feel _good_.

 

“I'd love that, fuck, when I saw you in the shower I almost came on the spot, Christ”. Louis grabbed Harry by his jaw and finally joined their lips; this time, it wasn't as careful or tender, but somehow, neither of them felt the need to hold back. A little moan slipped past Louis' lips when Harry planted a trail of wet, bruising kisses along his jugular and gripped his hips tighter.

 

He tugged on the dark curls in Harry's neck, eliciting a matching sound from his partner.

 

“Let's move this somewhere else”, Louis suggested, a little out of breath because Harry had attacked his lips again, and pulled him along towards the bed. Harry kicked off his shoes, encouraging Louis to do the same and crawled over him, bracketing his thighs with his own.

 

Louis' hands quickly found their way from Harry's hair to his back and then to his front where he unbuttoned one button after another, taking his time. Harry mewled a bit and rutted against him, the sensation sending sparks up Louis' spine. He stripped the blazer from Harry's broad shoulders and shoved the fabric of his dress shirt aside to mouth around his collarbones, leaving bruises wherever he thought they'd look nice.

Another rut of Harry's hips followed, making Louis' jeans feel too tight, but also increasing the anxiety of letting Harry see him naked.

 

“Haz”, he said, not really sure himself what he wanted to say, but just when Harry looked up, his phone started ringing.

 

“Oh come on”, he muttered, but still reached into his trousers' pocket and looked at the screen.

 

“I'm sorry, it's mum”. He gave an apologetic shrug and picked up. Louis didn't mind all that much, since he got to calm down again and had some more time to figure out how to show his obscene body to Harry.

 

“Okay, mum, I'll talk to you then. … What? Mum, no, I...”, Harry blushed and set the phone aside after hanging up and shook his head. “Mothers always know everything, it's scary”.

 

Louis laughed, already changed into his pyjamas, and snuggled up to him. “Sorry for killing the mood”, Harry murmured and pulled Louis closer into his embrace.

 

“Don't be, it's probably better if we don't rush it”.

 

“Yeah”. Harry nodded, then said something about getting ready for bed and covered his crotch a little awkwardly when he walked into the bathroom.

 

It was nice to cuddle with someone, Louis thought later on with Harry snugly in his arms. Hadn't he been in love with him, he would have probably laughed at the fact that this lanky asparagus preferred to be the little spoon. Even in winter, Louis slept with the windows open, which unfortunately made him freeze quite easily. Harry's body warmth helped with that ugly feeling of being cold, making him fall asleep much faster than he was used to.

 

Louis awoke with a face full of hair, brown curls splayed all over his mouth and nose. It made him sneeze which in consequence made Harry stir in his arms and mutter a sleepy “Good morning”.

 

Louis felt like his heart was about to burst with fondness when Harry nuzzled his cheek and left light kisses from there to his collarbones.

 

“It's nine now, Haz. We better get ready”.

 

They took turns with the showers again and got lost in that maze of a hotel before finally reaching the dining room. While Harry went to fill his plate, Louis was chewing on his bottom lip, anxiously thinking about what would happen next. _I_

 

_f I let Harry see me naked, he'll quit this right away. He'll think I'm a fat whale pretending to be sick. If only I could weigh myself, or measure at least. I can't let him make me eat anymore, he'll regret it anyway. Gotta get back on track._

 

A tiny voice at the back of his head quietly suggested that Harry probably didn't care, that Harry wanted his best instead of wishing to fatten him up, but Louis ignored it alongside his grumbling stomach while sipping his black coffee.

 

“Aren't you hungry?” Louis shook his head with a smile and took Harry's much larger hand in his.

 

“Sculpture park today, right? Man, I'm not sure about that, it's probably boring as fuck”. Harry gasped, then shook his head quickly from side to side.

 

“No, no, consider this: we can look at all the weird sculptures and estimate what drugs the artist was on, yeah?” Louis knew that Harry was probably genuinely interested in the the sculptures and ached to take pictures of them, but he really appreciated the way he was always trying to make everything seem better for Louis. And that made him take a slice of papaya.

 

***

 

Their bags were packed when they left the hotel hand-in-hand. Louis felt a little tug on his heart when he thought about the fact that Leeds would be their last stop. After that, their paths would split again. Harry somehow managed to guide them to the sculpture park via buses and subways and almost burst with excitement when they entered the grounds. Louis was glad when Harry stopped to read a sign, as he had time to refocus, close his eyes and light a cigarette, fighting the dizziness.

 

To be honest, the sculpture park was _boring_. Harry was taking thousands of photos and read every sign he found, explaining things which Louis hardly listened to. He wasn't really in a bad mood, but he felt like this day wasn't about to turn out good.

 

“Babe, you okay?” Louis snapped out of his thoughts and nodded.

 

“Yeah, sure, sorry. What did you say?” Harry's eyes were cast onto the ground and he shuffled his feet.

 

“I wanted to talk to you about something, can we sit?”. He motioned over to a bench a few yards away and they walked over hand-in-hand.

 

After sitting down, Louis lit another cigarette with shaking fingers. He wasn't good at talks and talks never meant anything good. _He's gonna tell you it was a mistake. You're too fat for him. He hates you, wants to go to Leeds alone. You're annoying him._ He inhaled too sharply and started coughing, like a kid smoking for the very first time.

 

“Louis”. Harry was urging now, his mouth twitching in a concentrated way. “This is so hard for me to ask, oh God. Uh. Okay. Ever since yesterday, I can't help wondering, like, what does this mean to you? No, that sounds like an accusation. Um... alright, I'll be blunt. I want to be in a relationship with you, yes? I wasn't lying last night, I've been fantasising about this happening for quite a while, if you can call these like 10 days a while already. Some people call one day a while, I mean, … damn, I'm rambling, I'm so nervous, I'm sorry”.

 

He buried his face in his hands, bent over, and shook his head. For a moment, Louis was dumbstruck, didn't know how to work his mouth or his vocal chords, so he rubbed Harry's back instead until the words came back.

 

“I want that, too”, he quietly said, “A lot, but I'm not sure this can work”.

 

Harry snapped up so quickly that Louis feared his spine would crack. “It can! Look at all these people having long distance relationships. It's not long until we're done with college and maybe we could get places for the teacher training close to each other. We're adults, Louis, we can do it if we try hard enough!”. He was holding Louis' face in his hands now, his eyes gleaming. “I want to, so much, please, we need to try”.

 

Instead of saying anything, Louis eliminated the last inches between them and kissed him firmly, trying to say all the words he couldn't. “I want to”, was what he got out in the end, causing Harry to wrap his arms around him and hold him so tightly he was afraid his bones would break.

 

“There is something else, though”. Louis froze, the feeling of the day ending better than thought evaporating. “I don't know how to say this, either”. Harry scratched the back of his head and juggled his words. “I mean, like. If we're in a relationship, um, are we at all, like. Oh god. I just, I need you to trust me. And I want you to be happy and healthy and I want to help you, okay? There's, there are problems, issues you have that you don't want to talk about to a stranger, I understand that completely, but. If we're, like, dating, you have to tell me about them so I can help you”.

Louis _knew_ Harry only meant well. He _knew_ that he wasn't doing this to expose or torture him, but he couldn't help his reaction.

 

He jumped up and started yelling, “Why are you saying this? I have no fucking 'issues'”, he did air-quotes with his fingers, “I'm just, I mean, just say it! I'm a nutter, I know that! Say it in my face, like everybody else! _Louis lost his mind! The small gay one, he's fat and now starves himself,_ look how funny! You just want me to be fat so you have an excuse to go, isn't that it? So you and your friends can make fun of me”.

 

Tears were streaming down his face and he was being so unfair, he knew it, he fucking knew it. “I don't need anybody's help. Not everybody can live in a cotton candy world like you”.

 

He walked over to the sculpture of a man's body on all fours with a rabbit head and kicked it. “And I fucking hate sculpture parks and art of any other kind!”. With these words, he walked away without looking back, sobs rattling through his bones and tears blurring his view.

 

Harry couldn't budge. He was sure that Louis hadn't meant what he'd said, had probably projected his past experiences onto him, but somehow, it still hurt. It was true that he was a happy person and had a great life he was thankful for, but like everybody else, Harry had had his fair share of the dark times.

 

People had bullied him when he'd been younger for not striving to fit any gender norms and called him gay early on, pretending it was an insult. His parents had separated and even though it hadn't ended the worst way, it had still left a scar. When he started wandering through the assortment of sculptures again, he found himself worrying. What did he know about Louis at all? What if he'd fallen for an illusion, someone he'd made up in his head? Thinking hurt, everything hurt.

 

_And again, I asked for too much_.

 

***

 

The café was filled with couples, making him feel like shit. In the two hours he'd been here, the number had probably quadrupled. He'd fucked up again, had successfully pushed someone he really liked away just because his mind was twisted. Self-loathing seemed the best thing to do right now, but a glance on the clock told him it was time to leave for the hotel.

 

“Louis”. He froze immediately, the sound of someone coming up behind him becoming louder. “Can we please talk about this?”.

 

It took Louis one look at Harry to break out into tears again, throw himself into his arms and sob about being sorry and not meaning what he'd said. Harry guided him towards the bed to sit and put his arm around his quivering shoulders.

 

“You've got to let me in, Lou. I feel like every time I told you about me, you only listened. I want to know you, even the darkest corners you'd never let anyone access because _I care_. I don't want to help you to make fun of you or make you gain weight, I want you to be healthy and happy so we can make the most out of us”.

 

Louis nodded, wiping at his eyes. “I know that, but that's not what I hear. You're so kind, Harry, how do I deserve this?”. His skinny arms wrapped tighter around Harry's middle, his face buried in his shoulder.

 

“I promise to tell you my story, bit by bit, okay? If you still want that, or me”.

 

“You silly goose”, Harry smiled and placed a kiss on the top of Louis' head, “Of course I still want to. Always will”. For the first time in hours, a real smile was tugging at the corners of Louis' lips.

 

The train ride, their last together, wasn't even twenty minutes long, but Louis still managed to fall asleep on Harry's shoulder. Only then did he realise that he hadn't eaten all day.

 

**Leeds**

 

Leeds was a big city full of people and places to go. The short trip from the station to their hotel was already overwhelming. Even though Doncaster wasn't tiny and Manchester definitely wasn't, a new city like this was always fascinating. Louis had been near Leeds before when he'd attended the Festival, but navigating through the city was something completely different. With Harry's hand in his though, he felt like he could conquer the world as well as overcome every obstacle. It was strange, but truly beautiful.

 

The hotel was nice, not too chic but not shabby, either. Harry tested the mattresses first while Louis inspected the bathroom and after they'd unpacked, Harry held his phone in front of Louis' face.

 

“Open mic night today from eight to ten pm, two blocks from here. I'd really love to go, Lou because I haven't sung for you yet and you showed me your song”.

 

Louis shrugged, then lay down next to Harry. “Sounds nice, why not? I'm looking forwards to being serenaded”.

 

He grinned and pecked him on the lips. “I wanna take a nap before though, care to join me?”.

 

“Of course”. Harry set his phone aside and pulled Louis closer, then draped the blanket over them. He was warm, as always, and Louis didn't struggle to fall asleep.

 

He was dreaming of trying to save Harry from drowning, but he couldn't hold on, couldn't help him back up. Louis jolted awake and gently kissed Harry's cheek when he glanced at the clock.

 

“Haz, we gotta get ready”, he couldn't help squeezing him once, the shock of his dream still stuck in his bones.

 

Dressing up seemed too much, so Harry ended up wearing a red and blue checkered flannel alongside black skinny jeans and his boots as well as a headscarf in his hair, making him look like a proper rock star.

 

Louis had chosen black skinnies as well, but a grey very loose fitting tank and a black hoodie instead of a flannel.

 

“You look so nervous, love”, Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's waist from behind him and nuzzled his shoulder.

 

“I am, you know. Proper nervous wreck right now. I'm really scared of fucking up”. Louis rubbed his tummy with both hands and placed a kiss on the side of his neck, the furthest he could reach.

 

“You'll be fine, I know it. And even if you're not, I'll still scream that I want your babies”. Harry giggled, turned around and placed a gentle kiss on Louis' nose. “You're adorable, you know that? I wish you were as good as making yourself feel better”.

 

The following hug was tight and when they separated, Louis' stomach grumbled. “Let's grab a bite before the show”, he suggested and walked out of the room with Louis' hand in his.

 

They bought soft pretzels on their way to the bar and while Harry had finished his by the time they got there, Louis was still nibbling on the first third.

 

“Take your time”, Harry smiled and ran his fingers over Louis' cheekbones, “I'm proud you're eating at all”.

 

The words hit home, made inexplicable warmth spread through Louis' guts and tears dwell in his eyes. It was like Harry _knew_ that all he'd ever wanted was for someone to be proud of him. Louis wrapped his arms tightly around Harry's waist and squeezed until the tears had dried without having been able to fall over his lashes.

 

“Thank you”, he whispered and then they got in.

 

The Chemic Tavern was smaller than Louis had expected; it was basically a room whose walls were lined with antique booths and a couple of small tables decorated with a single candle light filled the space.

 

A contrabass leaned against the wall facing the petite bar, next to it a piano was placed. The performer would be very very close to the crowd and probably wasn't even in need of a microphone. Harry returned from the bar with two pints of beer and they occupied a table close to the “stage”.

 

Louis tore off another tiny piece of the pretzel and chewed it slowly, while Harry's thumb was rubbing nervous circles into the back of Louis' hand.

 

“I don't know why I'm so goddamn nervous”, he said and let out a jittery laugh, “I've performed in front of bigger crowds, but it's, it's so _close_. When you're on stage, which you probably know as well, you're distant from the audience, like they can't touch you. Lightning often prevents you from seeing them, anyway, but like this, it's weird. Sorry, I'm rambling”.

 

“Don't apologise”, Louis smiled at him reassuringly and laced their fingers together. “As I said before, you'll do perfectly. You wouldn't believe how flattered I actually am that you're doing this whereas I just showed you some dumb recording”.

 

Harry shook his head and opened his mouth in order to reply, when the barman tapped his shoulder, “You can start”.

 

Louis hadn't really noticed how many people had come in, but when he looked around now, the place looked more crowded than he thought it would. Harry had sat down in front of the piano and spoke into a microphone, the volume turned up only slightly.

 

“Heya, guys”, he started a little awkwardly, “I'm Harry Styles and this is my first time doing an open mic thing. The song I'm about to play is one of my very own and even though I've written it ages ago with no one particular in mind, I've met someone recently who gives this song its true meaning. It's dedicated to them today and it's called _Don't Let Me Go_ ”.

 

An approving sound came from the crowd and Louis had tears in his eyes already when Harry started playing the first chords.

 

Harry was a baritone, Louis guessed, and his voice felt like thick caramel, soothing and incredibly lovely. The higher notes in the chorus gave him goosebumps and he didn't even care that tears were streaming over his cheeks. Nobody had ever sung, let alone dedicated a song to him. A beautiful song at that, sung with raw emotion and real passion. It was over way too quickly because suddenly people were clapping and Louis was sobbing when Harry thanked the crowd, left the piano and embraced him completely.

 

Even when the next performers were on, Louis couldn't shut up about how beautiful it had been and how touched he was. Harry smiled shyly about it and tried wiping it off, but Louis peppered his face with kisses every time he did so. After the last performer had finished and their glasses were empty, they decided to leave.

The next day would be a long day as they wanted to make the most of it and not sleep in till noon. Harry saw the smile plastered on Louis' face, felt the happiness radiating from him and knew he'd done the right thing.

 

When Louis was sleeping in his arms that night, Harry traced his fingers gently over his protruding ribs, making his heart sting. Louis didn't deserve this, he deserved to be happy all the time and not worry about what he looked like because he _was_ beautiful inside out, no matter what he weighed. Harry swore to himself he would make him believe that, no matter how long it would take.

 

***

 

Louis had got up before Harry to take a long shower. The water was steaming, the hot drips falling onto his skin. The longer he looked at his stomach, his thighs and his behind, the less he wanted Harry to see him naked. He plainly wasn't beautiful; how could it be possible that he was able to count his ribs and see his hipbones and still be so goddamn huge? Biting his lower lip, he took the razor and ran it over the light hairs on his chest, then over his armpits. It was tempting to use it to open the almost-healed cuts on his thighs, but he willed himself not to.

 

Harry would want him even less if he saw those, he'd probably be disgusted. Just when he'd unclipped the shower gel, he heard someone come in.

 

“Lou, can I join?”. Harry's voice was still rough from sleep, but still warm and kind. Never before had Louis been so torn between wanting something and not wanting it at the same time.

 

“I'm naked”, was all he got out and somehow, it was easing to hear Harry laugh and his clothes drop to the floor, “I'll come in now”.

 

The very first thing Louis noticed was that Harry was definitely _big_. Like, really long and thick and just so _fucking hot_. He'd seen the tattoos before, but somehow, the laurels on his hips made so much more sense now.

 

“You're so beautiful”, he whispered and Harry smiled at him, flashing his dimples.

 

“Thank you. But so are you, Louis”. His hands were big enough to cover Louis' lower back and it was hard for him not to flinch or squirm out of the touch. “Just look at you, I've never seen someone as wonderful as you”. His voice was low and quiet as his hands were gently roaming over Louis' body. “You don't need to hurt yourself”, Harry whispered and traced the older and newer scars etched into Louis' skin. “Or lose any more weight. I don't know your reasons, not yet, but what I do know is that I think you're beautiful just the way you are, regardless of your weight. You're glowing when you're happy, did you know? When your eyes crinkle, the whole room lights up, when you laugh, nobody can resist. You're hilarious and charming and I'm so glad I found you”.

 

When he cupped Louis' face and kissed his forehead, a broken sob erupted from Louis' throat, the tears overwhelming him like an avalanche. He wrapped his skinny arms around Harry's waist and just stood there, crying against Harry's chest with the shower still spraying.

 

“Thank you, thank you for everything, I can't put into words how much you mean to me”, he finally got out and kissed him, kissed him like his life depended on it. Harry returned the kiss just as eagerly and let Louis press him into the tiled wall, placing a line of kisses and love bites down his neck and collar again, just where the older ones had faded.

 

Harry let out a soft moan and another one when he felt Louis rubbing against him. “Is this okay?” he asked and Harry just nodded, scratching his fingernails down Louis' bony back. When his fingers flicked over his nipples, he let out a wail and returned the favour.

“You look so pretty like this”, Louis cooed and connected their lips again, his hard cock bumping into Harry's thigh.

 

“Please”, was all he could say and instinctively brought their members together and wrapped his hand around them.

 

“Why the fuck are your hands large enough to do this, holy fuck”. The water eased the slide of Harry's hand and the sounds Louis let out were just the prettiest; soft moans mixed with high-pitched whimpers, shooting straight to Harry's groin.

 

“Won't last long”, he moaned and felt Louis' tongue on his right nipple only a moment later, he was done for. With his head tipped back and his mouth open, eyes squeezed shut, he came over his own hand and stomach, waves of pleasure hitting him again and again.

 

“Oh fuck”, Louis whined at the sight and left crescent-shaped marks on Harry's shoulders when he tipped over the edge with the same symphony of sounds as before, only differing in volume. He slumped against Harry's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around him and they stayed like this a bit before lathering each other with shower gel and shampoo.

 

Louis felt _happy_. Like, truly, honestly euphoric. The grin wouldn't leave his face and he even managed to eat some fat-free yoghurt with granola and fruit. Harry appeared to feel the same; his hands never left Louis' body for too long and he almost looked a little goofy with that satisfied expression. The plan for today was to explore Leeds a bit and even though Harry wasn't aware, Louis had decided to tell him his story and a little more about himself – he felt like he could tell him anything and wouldn't be judged and since tomorrow would be their last day together, he felt like he ought to tell him; Harry deserved the truth.

 

The very first thought in Harry's mind when they neared the city of Leeds was _intimidating._ Huge, prestigious looking buildings were seemingly blooming everywhere the closer they got, and he could count at least five people who looked like they were about to restore some houses or old sights. Something about it captured him from the start, grabbed him and made him want to explore every corner and every hidden spot. It was nothing like he'd imagined it, but he loved it.

 

“Wow”. It wasn't like he'd never seen a big city, Manchester wasn't small either, but since he knew no one but Louis and tons of people were passing him by, Harry felt tiny, like a particle of dust floating in the air.

 

“It's special, innit?”. Louis had looped his arm through Harry's and gently pulled him along.

 

“Me first time here is literally a decade ago, but Leeds never fails to impress me. It's like there's always something new every time I come back”.

 

In contrary to the other cities they'd visited, and Harry realised with a sinking feeling that this was their last stop, the plan for Leeds was to simply breathe the city in and walk around, see people, maybe stop at some café and a park and then spend the evening together, huddled in a blanket fort and pretend it was never going to end.

 

Many shops were the typical ones, like Hollister, Abercrombie and Fitch, Topshop, Starbucks and McDonald's, but here and there Harry spotted smaller, independent stores that sold vintage or handmade items.

 

Of course, those were the ones he preferred and Louis even helped him pick out a couple of shirts. When they exited the shop, the sun was out for once; it still wasn't warm, but the light put a smile on people's faces and made them open their jackets. Louis tugged on his hand lightly when they crossed a small café and took a final drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out on the ground.

 

“Haz, can we go eat something in there?”. He seemed to be nervous, Harry could tell by the way he wasn't looking at him and bit his lip over and over again.

“Of course we can, love”. He quickly pecked Louis' cheek and opened the door, which welcomed them into the room with a chime. An elderly lady behind the counter greeted them friendly and offered them her baked goods. Louis chose a big mug of coffee and a small cinnamon bun, much to Harry's surprise, who ordered green tea and a wrap filled with vegetables and chicken.

 

“Louis, are you okay?”, Harry asked tentatively after a few minutes of silence.

 

“I wanted to sit down here with you because you deserve to know my story, or me to sound less like a teen novel character. You've told me basically everything about you and I could probably remember your grandma's name while I haven't opened up about anything”. He took a deep breath and nibbled at a piece of his bun before he continued, “Please don't interrupt me, okay? It's really hard for me to talk about this”. Harry nodded, gave Louis' hand a squeeze and just listened.

 

“I did tell you about my sisters, didn't I? Well, my real dad and mum broke up when I was quite young, so she remarried twice. I don't want to go into too much detail about that, but it left me with a lot of responsibility for them. My mum would work a lot and I had to adapt her role when she wasn't home as I was the oldest. Being around a lot of girls all the time had me taking over some of their mannerisms and also their interests. It wasn't really that big a deal until I was around 15 or so when puberty hit me with full force and for whatever reason I became curvy. Not fat or anything, but I had a waist and an arse and small hands, wrists and ankles. I was a little flamboyant as well, I guess you could say, and a lot of boys started picking on me because of that; they were like, _oi Louis, are you another Tommo girl?._

 

“Another thing that fuelled their despise of me was that I was a dancer. I was passionate about it, it helped me lose myself when I was too tense or when my thoughts wouldn't stop racing”. Louis took another sip of coffee and shoved the plate with the bun aside. Harry's eyes hadn't left him for longer than ten seconds each time he took a bite of his wrap.

 

“The bullying became too much and my best friend Stan, who has till this day never let me down, suggested me to join the football team. I had played as a kid, but given it up for dancing. Despite my passion, I quit dancing and started footie and drama instead. For a while, everything was fine, but the nights out with the footie lads made me gain quite a bit of weight on my stomach and thighs and soon, all the nasty remarks were back. Even though I tried to hide it, when they started calling me _Louise,_ I was done. I started hating myself for who I was and coming to terms with my sexuality was impossible,

 

“I tried dealing with it by hurting myself. At home, I was a working force, even when mum's new boyfriends came and went and I felt that because of the way I was, nobody appreciated me and no one would ever be able to love me”. His voice broke a bit and Harry was quick to take his hand again and run his thumb over the tendons protruding through the skin. Louis wiped at his eyes, closed them for a moment, took a shaky breath and kept talking.

 

“I started eating healthier and lost a few pounds, which helped me regain enough confidence to come out to my family and closest friends. Luckily, everyone was totally fine about it; it seemed that things were finally getting better, especially when I met my first boyfriend. He was this super fit track runner that loved to exercise and shared my passion of drama.

 

“Things were great for a while, I lost my virginity to him in a nice way, I must say. But one day, in senior year, I remember it clearly. It was the morning after a party. I knew the relationship had made me gain some happy pounds, but I was content. Anyway, he just rolled over, looked me in the eyes and said, _my friends have pointed out that you've become fat, Lou, and they're right. Don't you think you should exercise more?_ Like. I never would have thought someone, anyone, would say that to me, blatantly, with a smile as though it was a compliment. Needless to say, I broke up with him right away for being so superficial. It made me realise that the only way people would accept me and the only way _I_ would accept myself was if I was skinny. Skinny means confident, skinny means strong, I told myself. By the end of senior year, nobody had even noticed I'd been skipping meals and exercised more than ever. People were complimenting me for the weight loss, encouraging me. In college, I share my dorm with two guys I'm really good friends with, but you know, it's not like they have their eyes set on the way I eat. The bullying has stopped and it's not a secret that I like men, but I still feel like people are watching me at all times. That one mistake will make everybody hate me”. He lifted his cup again, taking another sip. Harry's brow was furrowed; he didn't understand, never had, why people thought it was okay to bully others, why difference infuriated them or why they had to cover their insecurities by hurting others.

 

“The rest is more or less what you know; I met that guy online who promised to love me the way I was. I'd told him everything about me, my problems and shit and it turned out he wasn't serious about anything. That's why it was so hard for me to open up to you, I was scared to be hurt again. I'm sorry about that”.

 

For a while, they were both silent, their fingers laced together on the table and their eyes locked. “Louis, you're beautiful”. Harry couldn't form sentences anymore, there was so much he needed to say and no words to describe his feelings. “I know you don't see it and people have made you feel like you're not, but you are. Inside out. Your weight doesn't mean anything to me because you're you. There's no one else like you on this damn planet and it would be the worst to lose you. I'm so grateful and so so so proud that you've told me all this and I really want to help you, if you let me. Have you ever seen someone about it?”.

 

Louis flinched, blinking some tears in his eyes away. “No. No, no, no. They'll make me gain weight. I'll be fat again, I know that. I can't stand that, you'll be so far away soon and if we saw each other again and I was fat, you'd leave”. It was obvious that these were no rational thoughts but mere panic caused by past experiences.

 

“Louis”. Harry got up and walked around the table to squeeze into the bench Louis was sitting in. He wrapped his arms around Louis' petite body and held him the closest he could. “I wouldn't. I'm gonna say it again, I don't care about your weight at all, I want you to be healthy. And I've seen you eat these days, it's so little that I'm scared you're gonna collapse. I don't want to lose you, I really don't. I want to enjoy my time with you, now and in the future and I want you to do that too. You shouldn't have to worry all the time. You want to be carefree again, don't you?”.

 

Louis was sobbing by then, his tears soaking through Harry's plain black t-shirt. He nodded, his hair brushing against Harry's arm. “Then please seek help, a counsellor to talk to you about this. Or talk to your mum at least, you can't bottle this up”. Louis remained quiet, but Harry knew his words had reached him by the way he was letting all the pain and the tears out.

 

The elderly lady packed the cinnamon bun into a small bag after Harry had requested so and received a big tip for letting them stay for a while. After asking a young couple for a nice park, they took the bus to a green place in the middle of the city. Louis was exhausted, Harry could tell, which was why they didn't talk much; instead, they showed their affection with small gestures and let the fresh air and the sun do the rest. Harry split the barely eaten pastry in half and didn't urge Louis to finish, but over light small talk and some stupid knock knock jokes, he did so himself.

 

Harry gently suggested getting Chinese take out, to which Louis agreed. There was a diner around the block of their hotel, so they walked there after getting off the bus. “I don't think I can order something, I've already had so much”. Louis' hands were shaking when he lit the cigarette between his lips and Harry wrapped his arm around Louis' waist.

 

“You could get some of these small spring rolls. Then you don't have to finish all of them but you get something into your stomach”.

 

“Thank you”, he whispered and rested his head against Harry's shoulder.

 

Harry wasn't paying much attention to the movie they had on, he was focused on fishing the noodles out of their box and Louis' halfway naked thigh next to his. For the first time, he was in boxers instead of long sweatpants and Harry counted that as a win.

 

“It's our last night together”, Louis mumbled and set his halfway empty box of spring rolls aside.

 

“I know”, Harry finished the last two pieces of chicken and tossed the container in the bin next to their bed, turning to face Louis.

 

“I feel like a stupid teenager”, Louis said, his cheeks a shade of pink, “But I really want to make this night special, yeah? So, would you want to... like...”. He covered his face with his palms and groaned. “No, forget it. I'm pathetic and ruining the mood, oh my god”. Harry chuckled, plucked Louis' hands off his face and pushed the longest bit of Louis' fringe to the side.

 

“Don't be silly, of course I want to”.

 

He rolled on top of him, connecting their lips in the progress. Louis buried his hands in Harry's hair, pulling him closer. “Do we even have like, condoms? Lube?”. Harry grinned, then got up, walked over to his suitcase and unzipped a bag at the side, pulling the looked for items out.

 

“You never know”. He set them down on the nightstand, unbuttoned his shirt and bracketed Louis' thighs with his own. “Can I take this off?”. He ran his fingertips along the hem of Louis' huge grey sweater and looked up at him from below his eyelashes, hoping to look seductive. “

 

'Course”, Louis replied, a broad grin taking over his features. “It's cute that you ask, actually. Do you bottom?”. Harry grinned, breaking Louis' gaze. “I'm versatile, but I do like to bottom, yeah”.

 

“Of course you do, look at how pretty you are”. Louis gently patted Harry's cheek, then let the younger one take off his sweater. Suddenly, he felt his confidence wavering and even though Harry had already seen him stark naked, he was scared something would make him change his mind.

 

When he felt fingertips dancing over his ribs and hipbones though, he opened his eyes again and caught Harry's fond face. “You're so beautiful... I know I've said it before, but I can't help it; maybe it's too early, but the only thing I can think of when I see you is how much I actually love you”.

 

The words hung in the air, like a bubble in danger to be popped. Louis sat up, cupped Harry's face and muttered, “You make me so happy, Harry. Everything seems easier when you're around and fuck the norms, fuck whatever people say about this being too early. Feelings aren't rational and love isn't measurable in minutes. I love you, too. A real damn lot”.

 

He kissed Harry then, the touch meaning so much more all of a sudden and wrapped his arms around his torso, his fingers running up and down his spine. He felt himself growing harder when Harry's lips focused on his neck, sucking bruises into the thin skin as if to set a reminder of this night.

 

“Louis”. Harry had tilted his head back, his hair falling down onto his back. Louis was sucking gently on his nipple, his fingers teasing the other. Harry's collar and chest were covered in purple bruises, love bites, just like Louis'.

 

“Please, can we...”.

 

“Yeah”, Louis breathed out and turned them around so that Harry was lying on his back, Louis hovering over him. “Do you need to be on all fours?”. Harry mewled before answering, arching his back into Louis' biting kisses below his navel. “Only for prep”, he sighed and revealed dilated pupils when he looked at Louis again, who was pulling his boxer briefs down to reveal him achingly hard and dripping pre-come at the tip. Harry's hands were on Louis' hips in no time, returning the favour of taking off his last piece of clothing.

 

While Harry turned around, Louis reached for the lube and a condom, unclasping the bottle and dribbling some of it over his fingers. The sight was gorgeous; Harry had a small bum, but it was toned and so damn _inviting_. Louis grinned, sucked another bruise into the bottom of Harry's spine and gently spread his cheeks. Harry was puffing air out when Louis ran his index and middle finger up and down his crack before prodding his index finger's tip gently at his entrance.

 

“When was the last time someone fingered or fucked you?”, Louis asked while slowly pushing in.

 

“Um, last time I showered on my own”. The grin was audible in his tone and Louis shook his head in disbelief.

 

“Wow, nice. Shame I didn't see that”. His words paired with the sensation of Louis' finger being all the way in made him moan; a deep, guttural sound falling from his lips. “You sound so hot, fuck”. Louis dribbled more lube over his fingers, not caring about the sheets getting stained.

 

His middle finger slid in easily, the room being filled with Harry's sounds, which kept growing more desperate with every knuckle Louis slid in. “Please, I'm, it's enough”. Harry moved a little awkwardly to get Louis to pull his fingers out and turned around again, his face flush.

 

“Oh, baby”, Louis kissed him, cupped his face and gently traced his fingers over Harry's chest and abdomen. “Looking so good for me”. He took a pillow from next to Harry's head and placed it below his lower back before tearing open the condom wrapper and putting it on.

 

Harry looked at him with awaiting eyes, spread his legs as Louis shuffled between them and finally set them down on Louis' shoulders. “You ready?”. Harry could see a slight sheen of sweat on Louis' body, but it made him look iridescent in the pale light, magical almost.

 

“More ready than ever”.

 

Both of them groaned when Louis pushed in inch by inch, Harry's body embracing him as if it were meant to be. “You look so beautiful like this”, Harry whispered, reaching out to touch Louis' face, “I cannot believe I am this lucky”.

 

Louis laughed quietly and started rocking his hips slowly. “I cannot believe I am, but look at you, silly”. Harry's smile turned into a blissful expression when Louis picked up the pace and let out a soft moan himself. His fingernails left red welts on Louis' back soon and he couldn't believe the bed was moving with them like in a bad movie.

 

Louis had dropped his head onto Harry's shoulder, making his legs wrap around Louis' body a little lower. It felt so damn intimate and somehow Louis managed to hit his prostate with every thrust now and he could barely mouth a warning before he came, spurting all over his own and Louis' tummy, the rest of his body going limp save for the aftershocks.

 

“That was so damn hot, fuck”. Louis had slowed down, seemingly unsure whether he wanted to continue like this.

 

“Thanks”, Harry murmured and broke out into a slow grin. “Can I eat you out?”.

Louis' eyes widened and he stopped moving altogether before pulling out. He was still painfully hard, but nodded eagerly and switched positions with Harry. “Nobody's ever done this”, he confessed when Harry had settled comfortably between his thighs.

 

“Really? Nobody's ever appreciated this beautiful backside before? Tossers”, he shook his head and spread Louis' cheeks gently. “You won't need long then”.

 

Louis meant to tease him about his confidence when he felt Harry's lips on his hole and his tongue gently circling his rim. A high-pitched moan escaped his lips and he turned into a quivering mess when Harry alternated between broad licks and pointed nudges. As promised, it didn't take him more than a couple of minutes to tip over the edge and come with a whimper and a string of curses.

 

They wrapped around each other afterwards, limbs tangled together as if they were becoming one. All thoughts of departure were willingly being pushed away and replaced with _I love you's_ and whispered confessions of affection, before sleep fell over them like a thick, warm blanket.

 

***

 

When Harry's alarm went off the next morning, Louis didn't want to face it. He was fighting tears even before he was entirely awake, something like a stone weighing his heart down. While Harry turned off his alarm, Louis wrapped his arms and legs around him like a lock, unwilling to let go. “I wish I could stay”, Harry muttered and turned around, hugged Louis close to himself and tried just as hard not to cry.

 

The shower together was slow and during breakfast, words were exchanged by actions. Harry couldn't blame Louis for not eating; he could barely stomach anything either. Even though they hadn't stayed in this particular hotel room all these days, seeing it all empty with their suitcases packed felt like leaving home behind. Louis was smoking one cigarette after another on their way to the train station and Harry couldn't stop the tears when he spotted the gates.

 

Louis' train was leaving first, so they waited at his platform first. The silence was deafening, so Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and let go. He didn't care about people staring, didn't care that he sounded like a drowning rhino. All he could care about was that the next time he'd see Louis would be on camera, via facetime or skype, and till they'd meet, months would pass. Louis didn't seem to do any better, as he was crying as well, his tiny hands balling fists on Harry's back.

 

The train was there far too early, it couldn't be. Louis felt like kissing Harry for the last time and entering the wagon were the hardest things he'd ever had to do and when Harry's waving figure faded away, he didn't think he could smile on his own ever again.

 

The station felt empty, he felt empty. He knew that calling Louis already would be desperate and melodramatic, but when he took out his phone to at least text him, he saw that he already had a message; _Always in my heart. Sincerely yours, Louis._

 

**Epilogue**

 

He was in a rush. There was not much time left and he really had to get lunch done, but somehow he'd got stuck at the shelf full of framed pictures. These were the ones out for everyone to see, like the first picture they'd ever taken together, but some other important ones were kept in private for them only; for example the one on front of the clinic.

 

Louis had been doing well after getting over the first wave of loneliness; his everyday life was now enriched by Harry's virtual presence, making things so much easier. They'd set a date for when they'd see each other and he was counting down the days. Two days before Louis' birthday, Harry told him he wouldn't be able to make it because his grandmother was in the hospital and would probably not survive any longer than two more weeks. Of course, Louis had been sad, but had sympathised with his boyfriend; this was something serious. When on New Year's Eve, though, Harry had uploaded a picture to facebook of him and another very fit guy, smiling and happy, he had felt like dying. Due to having slowed down his metabolism by starving, Louis had gained weight quickly, making him look out of proportion as it mainly settled on his tummy and hips. Now the pictures of the other guy, who was an athlete, had led Louis to thinking Harry would be more interested in that, as irrational as it was and he'd relapsed. This time, things didn't go unnoticed and when Louis' dorm mate Zayn found him unconscious in the bathroom stall, he'd called the ambulance and Louis had been admitted to a mental hospital. Harry had visited him after only two weeks and it had been very emotional for the both of them and Louis had sworn himself to not let himself down, if only for Harry's sake.

 

Now the next frame on the shelf showed the two of them in Manchester, where Louis had visited Harry in late spring. Even though not much time had passed between the one in the clinic's gardens and this one, a lot of things had changed; Louis for one looked healthy and his smile appeared to be real. Harry's hair had grown even longer and he held Louis like his life depended on it. He remembered the smell of Harry's small dorm room and associated it with ice cream and beers drunk on the balcony at three a.m. . The picture didn't show the mental tension they'd been under as finals had just been written and their graduation would be soon, if they'd passed at all.

 

Speaking of which, the photos of their graduations had been put in one frame together, making it seem almost as if they'd spent that day together. A glance on his watch told him there was _really_ no time to look at those pictures he could marvel at every day, but nothing could stop him from smiling at the following ones.

 

Their first flat had been small and very very old, but it sufficed; they'd been lucky enough to both get a workplace in Leeds at the same time, so there was really no room for complaining about their living circumstances.

 

Louis smiled fondly at the memories; their first fights had been so ridiculous, having been about which candles to light and whether a room would have to be mopped or not. Multiple pictures of family occasions lined the wall following the shelf and Louis grinned at most of them because they'd blended into the other's family so nicely. Sometimes, it all felt like a dream, still – like, how probable was it to meet the love of your life when you get lost somewhere in the east of Yorkshire?

 

Louis was sloppily chopping vegetables when the door burst open and the sounds of chatter and little feet stomping through the halls filled the house. “

 

Can you believe she did that, dad?!” Harry chuckled and entered the kitchen, being followed by Grace and Logan, their twins.

 

“I absolutely can’t”, He wrapped his arms around Louis from behind and kissed the side of his neck. Unfortunately, Louis hadn't grown any taller and was thus still shorter than his husband. “I thought lunch would be ready once we got back”, Harry teased and Louis gently elbowed his stomach before turning around, hands on his hips.

 

“Fuck off, I got stuck at the pictures on the shelf and it's still bothering me our wedding picture isn't on there. Or the babies' first day at preschool. Can you believe _that_?!” Harry chuckled, then laid his index finger on Louis' lips.

 

“No swearing in front of the kids, love. And I'll put those pictures up, I promise”. He kissed him, leaving another promise for later behind and told the kids to start their homework already. Louis almost cut his tomato slices into heart shapes because even after all these years, Harry still found a way to fascinate him and make him explode with fond. And after all, he thought.

 

Harry had been his knight in shining armour, even if he'd been wearing a camera and pointed boots.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on the tumblr: harrielewie.tumblr.com <3


End file.
